The Guardians

By Melanie Walker

 

 

 

 

 

The fight was nothing new. In fact it seemed to be commonplace since the five had reunited.

 

Later Justin would have no idea where the anger had come from, where the words that had spilled unchecked from his lips had sprung from. He’d remember saying them, he wouldn’t remember the flash of pain on JC’s face as they were spoken because he would have turned his back then, he would remember not being able to stop himself.

 

But at the time he’d felt his anger had been justified. And he’d lashed out.

 

JC was his heart and soul, when the idea of a break had first been bandied around he’d fought it. What he and JC had was still new, fragile… a long separation might endanger the relationship they were starting to build.

 

But everyone was tired and everyone was telling him that he should do the solo album, so he’d listened and he’d gone.

 

Now what had been new and fragile was old and comfortable… and it was all different. His heart and soul had gone and found something that wasn’t him. Sometimes he wished…

 

But he shook his head and banished thoughts of what-ifs, and should-haves… they’d been the best of friends; becoming lovers should never have changed that. But now he looked at JC and saw a man that he didn’t even recognize. And now they were in the process of tearing each other apart bit by bit. As their friends stood by helpless to do anything to stop the disintegration of their group.

 

They’d go down in the history books as the sole group to self-destruct after the hiatus was finished.

 

Even as Justin turned on his heel, hands clenched in fists at his side staring into the darkness he could sense the other three standing just inside Chris’ house watching. Ready to leap into the fray should the fight become physical instead of just verbal.

 

Not that he would ever raise a hand to JC, ever… it was just they’d all been witness to JC’s version of self-defense and they all knew that Justin would have him on the ground and pinned in less than 10 seconds.

 

Especially since it looked as if JC had given up food altogether since the last time the group had been all together.

 

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” Justin muttered angrily, his shoulders tensed even further when he felt JC’s light hand touching his back.

 

“I’m on your side; I’m always on your side…”

 

“Except in this instance when you’re not.”

 

“Justin…”

 

“You know sometimes I wish that I’d never called you,” the words tumbled from his lips before he could stop them and even as he felt JC flinch behind him he continued, his voice harsh and bitter. “Maybe we’d be able to make this work if we weren’t in the same band.”

 

“You don’t mean that,” JC said softly drawing back his hand. Justin could picture him standing just inches away, head bowed, tears glinting in his eyes. JC was the only man that Justin knew that didn’t feel it unmanly to cry. But even with the sadness that he could feel emanating from every pore of JC’s body he continued.

 

“Yeah I think I do,” he said it so matter-of-factly that he himself was surprised by the truth he felt.

 

And the world tilted, his vision went hazy for a moment as he struggled to breathe… just barely wondering why it was so hard to breathe as he closed his eyes, gasping.

 

When the world settled itself he felt an anxious pit forming in his stomach… he could no longer feel JC standing behind him. JC would never have just walked away. He would have stayed until things had worked themselves out.

 

Whirling quickly he scanned the backyard… nothing. JC was nowhere to be seen, although Chris was hovering just a few feet away.

 

“Where…?” he began as he his vision blurred slightly a faint pounding beginning right in the center of his forehead, he pressed a hand there. Hoping that if he pressed hard enough the pain would alleviate.

 

Instead the pain thickened, causing starbursts to radiate behind his closed eyelids. He dragged a hand through curls in exasperation wondering where JC had disappeared to and why he hadn’t reappeared with aspiring like he always did.

 

Then his eyes snapped open in shock a wary hand moving to touch the… yes the curls on his hand and wide eyes met Chris’.

 

“What the hell?” he swore as he plucked at the curls that he’d shaved off months ago, the ones that he kept his hair cropped short so he wouldn’t have to deal with.

 

“Are you done moping?” Chris finally moved closer, his voice sounding slightly annoyed to Justin’s sensitive ears.

 

“Moping? Where’s JC?” Justin’s eyes narrowed as Chris sighed a definite sigh of annoyance.

 

“JC should be getting ready to go onstage with his band…”

 

“His band? What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“His band… you know The Guardians… the band that we’re supposed to be watching on TV in,” Chris glanced down at his watch, “ten minutes… You know I didn’t dish out the money for Pay-Per-View so we could miss it.”

 

Justin gaped at him in disbelief, how long had he been standing in the backyard exactly?

 

“We’d be at the concert if AJ didn’t have a hit out on you.”

 

“AJ?” Justin stared at him blankly. Blinked slowly once then again, and it still made no sense. “Why the hell would AJ have a hit out on me?”

 

Chris stared at him. “Dude, how many times were you dropped on your head as a child again?”

 

“Shut up,” he mumbled rubbing his head as he tried to wrap his mind around the tiny tidbits of information that Chris was feeding him.

 

“Christ between you and Joey… I finally get him to give up the idea of stealing Meggie from Nick and now I have to work on you again,” Chris shook his head in exasperation. “Couldn’t you have at least chosen someone who didn’t have a psychotic significant other, I mean…”

 

“JC and AJ are together?! What the hell!” Justin finally exploded.

 

Chris peered at him in confusion. “Kid they’ve been together going on four years; you were there when they came out.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The pain was almost unbearable, JC pressed fingers to his temples. Small rhythmic movements to try and alleviate the pain.

 

This was so not the time to get a migraine.

 

He almost jumped when he felt warms fingers at the back of his neck, digging deep into tightened muscles.

 

“Do you want me to get AJ?” he felt Megan’s breath against the back of his neck even as he shook his head.

 

“It’s just a little headache… I’ll be okay,” he murmured, eyes closed he pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead sighing.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Does something feel… off?” he queried softly.

 

“What do you mean?” her hands left his neck and when he opened his eyes she was crouched in front of him. Identical black t-shirt, identical black leather pants, black belt that denoted that they were partners. His eyes flickered away from her a moment and he could see Damian hovering by the door, identical clothing, red belt… he was probably waiting for a signal from either JC or Megan before he ran to get AJ.

 

“I don’t know,” he forced a weak smile to his face. “I’m probably just imagining things.”

 

“Hmm,” Megan’s reply was noncommittal as her head tilted to one side and she studied him.

 

“But everyone’s okay right?”

 

“Everyone’s fine.”

 

“Justin?”

 

“Is at Chris’ watching the show.”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

Megan grinned. “I’m positive. I don’t want to see AJ commit murder any more than you do… although it’s been all kinds of amusing to see what Justin keeps coming up with. He’s really taking this to whole new extremes.”

 

“I wish he’d stop,” JC closed his eyes again, head lolling forward as he rolled his shoulders.

 

“He’s in love with you.”

 

“He thinks he’s in love with me… but it doesn’t matter because I’m in love with AJ so…”

 

“You can’t be in love with two people?”

 

“If one of them is AJ? No. Besides I don’t think of Justin like that. He’s this little kid that was on MMC with me.”

 

“Justin hasn’t been a little kid for a while, and I think you’re protesting too much JC. You and Justin have been friends for a long time…”

 

“That doesn’t mean that I want to have a relationship with him, I mean I have AJ why would I want anyone else?”

 

“We’re not talking about your sex life.”

 

“I wasn’t…” JC smirked eyes opening, Damian was missing from the door which meant that Megan had issued either some unseen signal to go fetch AJ or he’d returned to his own partner. “What is it with you and sex anyway?”

 

“You’re like my brother JC,” Megan glared at him with a pained expression. “I don’t want to talk about sex with my brother, I don’t want to even think about my brother having sex… its bad enough when I have to hear it.”

 

“So don’t listen.”

 

“The hotel walls are thin, its unavoidable.”

 

“Like you don’t have sex.”

 

“I don’t,” Megan tossed her head and replied loftily. “Nick and I have a pure love.”

 

JC stared at her for about a half a second before bursting into laughter, holding his stomach with one hand he wiped at his eyes with the other. “A pure love, I’ll have to remember that,” he grinned widely.

 

“Glad to be of service,” she winked at him as she smoothly rose to her feet. “Now…” the door opening behind her cut her off and JC turned his attention to Damian who was moving out of the way to let AJ pass by him.

 

AJ stopped directly in front of him, nodding briefly at Megan before focusing his entire being on JC. Studying the smile on JC’s face, wet eyes.

 

“Megan took care of you already.”

 

“Did you know that Nick and Meggie have a pure love?”

 

“So what’s that screaming and moaning we hear… porn?”

 

“We don’t watch porn,” Megan wrinkled her nose as she touched AJ’s back lightly. “I’m going to make sure we’re all set.”

 

“I should…” JC made to stand, stopping when Megan waved him back.

 

“Let AJ do whatever it is that AJ does before a concert to put that big smirk on your face…”

 

“Sex,” AJ supplied helpfully, ignoring JC’s snickers and Megan’s horrified expression.

 

“Oh god…” Megan groaned backing towards the door. “Just… I’m going to check on the teams,” she said quickly, grabbing Damian’s arm as she passed by she hit the door with her hip and let it close behind them.

 

AJ easily slid into a crouch in front of JC, touching his cheek gently. “Migraine?”

 

“Meggie took my mind off of it and I’ll be okay once I get on stage.”

 

“Are they getting worse?”

 

“Just nerves… and you know, the stuff with Justin,” JC murmured leaning forward to rest his forehead against AJ’s. “Did you cancel the hit on him?”

 

“I wouldn’t put a hit out on Justin,” AJ said haughtily. “I’d want to make sure it was done right so I’d do it myself.”

 

“AJ.”

 

“He’s in love with you.”

 

“And I’m in love with you. You don’t need to worry about Justin.”

 

“He’s your friend, you care about him…”

 

“I care about a lot of people; you don’t seem worried about any of them.”

 

“Justin’s been your friend for a long time. I know you don’t love him, but it could conceivably happen.”

 

“AJ…”

 

“It happened to us,” AJ said softly, leaning back their eyes locked together he continued. “When we started, we didn’t even like each other that much. It was months before it was more than just sex and we began caring about each other, liking each other… it was another year before either one of us realized that it was love… Just starting out, right at this moment you have more with Justin than you had with me at the beginning.”

 

“I’m not looking AJ,” JC traced his cheekbones, running a thumb over soft lips. “I love you, unless you leave me I’m not even going to look at someone else.”

 

“Don’t underestimate him… Justin is a determined young man.”

 

“I’m not worried about Justin.”

 

AJ gently captured a hand within his, pressing a kiss to the knuckles as he held it.

 

“I am.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin stared at the poster adorning his bedroom wall.

 

He’d seen posters before; he’d posed for more than he could remember. But it was the first poster that he’d seen JC posed for that didn’t include him or one of the other guys and didn’t include one of JC’s trademark crazy outfits.

 

He knew who the other four people in the poster with him were though now.

 

The concert had been an… experience. And one he hoped that he wouldn’t have to repeat any time soon.

 

Just seeing JC dancing and singing, the same high energy that he’d always had during *NSYNC’s concerts but in a different band had left him feeling ill.

 

Now he could understand how the others felt when they’d seen his shows, him on stage, singing and dancing with people who weren’t them.

 

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He didn’t even know where he was.

 

All he did know was that while *NSYNC was together (minus one member of course) they had reached nowhere near the magnitude of stardom that he’d known only a few short hours before when his life had been the one he knew.

 

Joey had filled him on the gossip while Chris and Lance had been in the kitchen worrying about the state of his mental health.

 

The Backstreet Boys were still together and performing, a short break had been taken, but no one had gone into rehab and only Brian had gotten married. Although Joey confided softly the marriage was on shaky ground. Brian’s wife wanted him to quit the group and Brian refused.

 

And The Guardians… they were the *NSYNC of this crazy world. Their popularity knowing no bounds… both groups had managed to hold onto their fan bases even after JC and AJ had come out together.

 

JC and AJ… Justin wasn’t kidding himself, although he was confident in his ability to regain JC’s love.

 

Because their worlds weren’t that different, barring the group thing… his JC’d had feelings for both him and AJ, he’d gotten there first so AJ had never been an issue. But in this world AJ had gotten there first… he’d just have to press his luck and show JC that what he could offer him was better than what AJ could.

 

Joey had told him to leave JC and AJ alone, warning him that AJ was a fighter… a nasty, dirty fighter who wouldn’t hesitate to drop him if he felt threatened.

 

Leaning forward, he peered closely at the poster. Standing back to back with JC, hands crossed over her chest and a smile on her face was Megan. Kneeling before them were Damian and Sarah. On the left shoulders of Megan and Sarah’s t-shirts was a white circle. The Guardian’s and their names imprinted within its confines. He knew from watching the concert that if he could see JC and Damian’s left shoulders he’d see the exact same thing.

 

Where had JC’s individuality gone? The man that Justin loved, the one that he adored from the top of his wavy spiked hair to the tips of his sandaled-toe ring wearing feet, the man that would pretty much wear anything, despite what gender it would normally have been assigned to had seemingly vanished.

 

And Justin was making it his mission to find him and bring him back to him… where he belonged.

 

As soon as he figured out what the hell had happened to him.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin had always known that Chris could be a stubborn SOB when he wanted to be. While everything else in his life was now so totally different that it was bordering on a new life he was glad that one thing had not changed.

 

Even though that stubbornness was now being directed totally at him he felt relief.

 

“So you know what you have to do?” Chris asked for the third time. He tapped fingers against the steering wheel.

 

“Yes mom,” Justin muttered sarcastically as he eyed the house. Chris was parked directly in front of the door and Justin knew that he was going to sit there and watch him until he went inside.

 

“Maybe I should go with you,” the older man’s eyes narrowed as he studied Justin’s nervous fidgeting.

 

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be a good little boy and apologize to JC,” for what he still wasn’t sure. “I’ll make nice with AJ,” even thought he’d rather eat his own shoes. “It’ll all be fine.”

 

“It better. The Guardian’s only have…”

 

“I know, I know… four more concerts until they’re on break,” Justin grumbled. Chris had reminded him of that six times since he’d shown up at Justin’s at 8:00 am to drive him to JC’s. Supposedly when JC was in town this was their usual Sunday ritual. Justin would show up at 8:30 and JC would feed him.

 

Justin just knew that he wasn’t going to be lucky enough for it to be just JC and him, he had a feeling that AJ would be there smiling thinly at him making nice as well.

 

“Good… I want to see a live concert Justin, don’t fuck this up.”

 

“I won’t,” Justin promised, hesitating. “You’re sure…”

 

“Justin…” Chris’ voice was lined with exasperation and Justin knew that he was about 30 seconds away from throwing down. “This amnesia thing you’ve got going… it’s going to get old fast. Be a man and go in there and take responsibility for your actions.”

 

Justin winced and nodded quickly. His Chris would have coddled him, this Chris and him weren’t that close. It was going to take some getting used to.

 

This new distance between everyone.

 

Success had bonded them before. Failure had not yielded the same results.

 

Stepping out of the car Justin let the door close softly behind him and walked the few shorts steps to the front door. Squaring his shoulders he took a deep breath, reminded himself that he wasn’t a wimp and raised a hand to knock.

 

Only to have the door open.

 

“Wondered if you actually were going to knock,” the cheerful blonde grinned at him.

 

“Carter,” Justin’s eyes were wide as he stared at his one-time boyband rival.

 

Nick frowned studying him slightly before ushering him in. “You’re late, didn’t think you were going to show after AJ went off on you.”

 

“It’s… you know… Sunday,” Justin sputtered as if that explained everything.

 

The sudden look from Nick agreed that yes it was Sunday, while managing to wonder how many times he’d been dropped on his head as an infant.

 

Possibly Nick and Chris had been talking.

 

Which in itself shocked him. Justin hadn’t been friends with Nick since before Germany… and even then they’d never treated each other with the easy camaraderie that Nick was showing now.

 

Could they be friends here? *NSYNC had never rivaled the Backstreet Boys so there would have been no reason to be enemies.

 

“Yes I know, we always have breakfast on Sunday,” Nick said patiently as he led Justin into the kitchen. Sitting on the counter were a series of covered dishes and as Nick lifted covers the scent of freshly cooked bacon and eggs filled the room. “Jace and Meggie’s cook spoils us,” he sighed. “We’ll eat, gather up AJ and Brian, then Brian and I’ll watch while you and AJ try to kill each other on the basketball court.”

 

“AJ and Justin are going to be on their best behavior today,” Megan’s voice stated sternly from the doorway. Justin’s eyes flickered between the two as Megan stared down Nick. Then Nick sighed and turned back to his toast.

 

“But watching them try and off each other is half the fun, AJ once body slammed Justin when they were on the same team.”

 

“I remember,” Megan smiled at Justin as she moved past. Touching Nick’s back lightly she waited for him to turn and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “But JC and I won’t be there to referee so you all are going to play nice.”

 

“Jace isn’t going?” Justin asked quietly, this was probably something else that he should know and didn’t. Especially since the look on Nick’s face was one of understanding.

 

“Migraine,” Megan said simply. And Justin knew that he would get no more information from her.

 

******************************************************************************

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t bring your stuff with you,” Nick was grumbling as he dug through drawers in what Justin assumed was the spare room.

 

“I just…”

 

“Even if you and AJ had drawn pistols at dawn we still would have played,” Nick continued on as if Justin hadn’t even spoken, tossing a pair of shorts in Justin’s general direction. Justin held them up and frowned, these were his shorts, he recognized them.

 

“I don’t think you’ve left any t-shirts here,” Nick mused as he turned, drawing a hand through his hair as he thought. “You can borrow one of mine… but if I see it show up on eBay…” he said warningly.

 

“Come on… it would only draw the big bucks if you wore it,” Justin smirked. He couldn’t remember ever having this much fun with Nick, not even when they were kids and hadn’t learned yet how to be enemies. But this Nick was light years away from the Nick Carter that he’d been positioned against for almost his entire career, this was a Nick Carter that hadn’t had to compete with a Justin Timberlake.

 

Justin liked him like this. Friendly, open… no hostility to speak of.

 

“Remind me to never leave you around my dirty laundry,” Nick smiled and Justin could tell that in Nick’s eyes they were relaxing into familiar roles. Friend roles.

 

He idly wondered who Nick would choose if JC left AJ for him.

 

“We can change at Brian’s, I think Leighanne is at her mom’s this weekend,” Nick shrugged as he led Justin down the hall to his room. Grabbing two t-shirts, a pair of shorts for himself they headed down the stairs to grab AJ. Stopping short just outside the kitchen when they heard the raised voices.

 

AJ and Megan arguing. Justin could tell from the expression on Nick’s face that this was an uncommon experience for the other male.

 

“Would you even tell me if there was anything really wrong?” AJ’s voice was bitterly cold.

 

“AJ it’s not my place,” Megan protested and Justin could hear the unspoken words. That she wouldn’t tell him anything unless JC had said it was ok.

 

“Not your place, not your place…” the sound of a hand smacking the counter caused Nick to jump and Justin grabbed his arm before he could push the door open. When AJ continued his voice was soft and tired, Justin had to strain to hear it, “I love him Megan and he’s in pain up there… he won’t let me call the doctor, won’t let me take him to the hospital… which means he knows what’s wrong, which means that you know what’s wrong because you guys don’t keep secrets…”

 

“He’s not dying AJ,” Megan’s voice was gentle and Justin could envision her reaching a tentative hand out to touch him. “It’s just… it’ll pass… it will pass, you just need to give it some time.”

 

“Time?!” Anger again. “He’s up there in the dark, won’t even let me turn on the lights in the bathroom because he writhes in pain.”

 

“AJ…”

 

“Whatever…” Tired voice again and Justin got the feeling that they’d had this argument before… and always reached a stalemate then to. “I’m going to play basketball with the boys, I promise to not kill Justin. Just…”

 

“He’ll be fine AJ. I promise you he’ll be fine.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The room was dark, JC a barely seen ball shaped form in the middle of the bed. Megan swallowed hard and wondered for the millionth time what the hell she was doing.

 

“Jace,” she called softly closing the door gently behind her. She’d kicked her shoes off before she’d entered the room, made no loud movements.

 

“Are they gone?” JC’s voice was barely a whisper.

 

“Yes… AJ’s angry.”

 

“At me?”

 

“Me mostly, for not telling him what’s wrong with you,” Megan almost smiled at the harsh laugh that came from JC. Would have if it hadn’t been edged with pain.

 

“And you won’t, just like you won’t tell Nick.”

 

“JC…”

 

“Don’t tell him,” JC’s voice was like stone and Megan flinched.

 

“He thinks there’s something wrong with you, he thinks you’re dying.”

 

“There is something wrong with me.”

 

“JC…”

 

“I can’t choose between them Meggie,” he whispered. “I won’t, it’s not fair.”

 

Megan closed her eyes, hands clenched into fists at her side. Let her breath out in a sigh and then smoothly climbed into the bed behind him. Wrapping her arms around him as he shook.

 

“When?” she asked simply.

 

“Last night… sometime… I’m not sure…” his voice was full of confusion and she hated that it was there.

 

“Maybe you don’t have to choose,” she said.

 

“False hopes, false dreams… they’ll force me to choose… and… I won’t choose between them, I can’t,” he said softly, curling even further into himself. “Can’t make me choose…” became his mantra as he began rocking back and forth, crying softly. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and held him.

 

Hoping for simple solutions to everyone’s prayers.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Whenever Nick had to come into the house after midnight he felt like he was once more fifteen and trying to be desperately quiet as he snuck past his mothers’ hotel room in Germany for a few hours of freedom.

 

It didn’t seem to matter that he hadn’t had to sneak past his mother in years, or that he owned ¼ of the house.

 

Old habits were hard to break.

 

He kicked off his shoes by the doorway, and walked as quietly as possible to the kitchen.

 

A glass of water and his vitamins then he’d sneak up to bed and hopefully Megan would never realize how late he’d gotten back from Justin’s.

 

“Why are you skulking about like a burglar?” JC’s amused voice came from somewhere in the darkened kitchen.

 

“Jesus Jace,” Nick wheezed, hand pressed to his chest as he flipped the switch. Flooding the kitchen with light he blinked quickly to allow his eyes to adjust. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” the words left his mouth and he winced as realization hit, his hand flying back over to the switch to throw them back into the darkness. JC’s voice halting him.

 

“It’s okay, migraine’s gone,” JC shrugged. “What are you doing back so late?”

 

Nick frowned at the tone of his voice, then took in the sight before him. Forced calmness, with just a hint of… jealousy? The container of Ben & Jerry’s in his hand…  The ice cream was Megan’s and JC normally didn’t indulge unless there was something wrong.

 

Something personal that he was trying to work through in his mind. He claimed the ice cream helped him think.

 

And there was only one thing going on in his personal life that fit that description.

 

This did not bode well for any of those involved… but especially not Justin. If JC’s normally unwavering affections were in fact wavering…

 

Nick knew without a doubt that AJ would never harm a hair on JC’s head. Justin was not so lucky… especially since AJ was fully prepared to physically harm Justin for just chasing after JC, if JC actually left him for Justin… well Nick had no doubts that AJ would kill Justin.

 

And Nick would help because as much as Justin was his friend AJ was his brother.

 

“Justin got a new game, we were trying it out,” Nick shrugged nonchalantly. “What’d you guys do?”

 

AJ had left Brian’s shortly after the game was over, his overwhelming concern for JC’s welfare overriding his desire to spend time with Brian and Nick and keep an eye on Justin.

 

Nick had been proud of him, and Justin. They’d made it through a whole game without one ‘I’m sorry my elbow slipped’, without a ‘I must have had a muscle spam in my knee’ they didn’t even get a ‘sorry I didn’t mean to trip you my feet just got away from me.’

 

All in all it was a boring game compared to ones they’d played in the past.

 

There’d been absolutely no bloodshed.

 

“AJ said you guys had a good game,” JC said quietly pushing the ice cream aside and raising his eyes so they finally met Nick’s.

 

He was surprised at the pain he saw in them. JC sounded better than Nick ever remembered him sounding after one of his migraines, but there was pain in his eyes.

 

And loneliness.

 

Nick didn’t look too closely at that last emotion. JC was AJ’s and AJ took very good care of him. Nick would get his ass kicked if he interfered.

 

Besides the fact that JC would never leave AJ.

 

“Nick?” low query from JC.

 

“Oh… yeah,” Nick laughed. “Brian and I should have split up, played against each other because your boys were worthless as a team.”

 

“They didn’t try to hurt each other again did they? AJ promised.”

 

“No, no… they were just… distracted…” Nick said delicately, the by you, was unspoken but understood.

 

Nick grinned as JC grinned, surprised to see the pain fading from the older mans eyes replaced by amusement instead.

 

“Yeah well… anything for the good of the game… how is Brian?”

 

Nick hopped up on the counter, his grin widening. Brian was one of his favorite topics of conversation.

 

“Leigh’s not coming back…”

 

“So he finally filed,” JC nodded slowly. “Is he going to be okay with that? I know he doesn’t believe in divorce.”

 

“He does if one of the parties in indulging in an extra-marital affair.”

 

“Leigh was cheating on him?” JC’s voice rose an octave higher than its norm, eyes widening. JC always believed the best of people, he didn’t believe that someone could choose to hurt anyone that they claimed to care about.

 

It wasn’t the first time that he’d thought JC naïve and wondered exactly how AJ, who was the furthest thing you could get from naïve and not be bitter, had managed to snare him.

 

Of course then he realized that if JC was this upset about Leigh and Brian that there was no way in hell that he would put AJ through the same thing.

 

“Well he didn’t actually say the words, but it was distinctly implied.”

 

“Hmmph,” JC’s eyes narrowed and Nick knew that his mind was running a mile a minute and Leigh would live to rue the day that she had ever thought about dallying with anyone besides Brian.

 

“Brian seemed okay,” he offered instead hopping down from the counter and moving to the refrigerator. Opening it he stared at the contents trying to decide if he wanted the water or the lone can of Pepsi hiding at the back behind the milk. “Where’s Megan?”

 

“She hasn’t come back yet.”

 

“She’s out?” Nick looked up in surprise, touching his pocket he realized that he’d never grabbed his cell before heading out.

 

“Meeting.”

 

“You didn’t… oh… girls only huh?” Nick nodded grabbing a bottled water and shutting the door with one last longing look at the can. “Sarah finally lost her voice?”

 

“It was amusing listening to her try to ask for Megan on the phone,” JC smirked and Nick knew that JC had played stupid for as long as he could pull off. “She croaks very well.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

AJ woke slightly when JC slid back into his place in front of him; wrapping his arms around the other man he moved as close as possible and kissed the back of his neck.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Just talking to Nick,” JC murmured, wriggling a little to get more comfortable.

 

“Jace?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You’d tell me if something was wrong right?”

 

JC sighed and turned in his embrace, hand resting lightly on AJ’s hip he leaned forward to kiss him softly. “There’s nothing wrong,” he whispered against warm lips. “I’m fine, it was just… confusion I guess.”

 

“And you’re not confused anymore?”

 

“I know where I am.”

 

AJ frowned, reaching up to stroke JC’s cheek with a gentle caress. “I love you,” he whispered. He didn’t ask the questions plaguing him. He didn’t ask about Justin, about himself, about JC’s pain.

 

He didn’t want to know if it had been him that caused it. He didn’t care as long as JC was with him.

 

And he was here; JC was here with him, voluntarily. That should be enough of an answer for him.

 

“I love you too.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The door seemed to be mocking him Justin decided. It was probably on AJ’s side.

 

Folded in his back pocket was a list. One that Chris had made for him, though he was still disbelieving of the ‘amnesia’ that Justin was claiming. He’d had to put up with more than a couple ‘dropped on his head’ comments.

 

If Chris wasn’t one of his closest friends he probably wouldn’t have been able to deal with him, instead would have killed and buried him in the backyard.

 

But Chris was his only chance at figuring out his life in this crazy world that he was stuck in. Normally he would have chosen Trace over Chris, having known Trace for longer and trusting him a tad more. But Trace was nowhere to be seen and Justin knew, knew that this Justin, whichever one he’d replaced, had never dragged Trace out here with him.

 

Of course over both Trace and Chris he would have chosen JC.

 

But he didn’t have JC here, JC was happy with AJ, a fact that Chris kept happily kept reminding him of. Just in case he’d forgotten.

 

Because of the amnesia.

 

But at least Chris had made the list. Each day listed out with the activities that he normally partook in.

 

Sunday was his Nick Carter day, and that’s exactly what Chris had written on the list. Basketball with Nick, Brian and AJ. Videogames with Nick, then dinner with Nick (normally something chicken). Chris had made a point of telling him that it was the one day that Nick and Megan spent apart, totally apart.

 

Monday had been *NSYNC day, he and his now three brothers had sat in an awkward silence as they tried to deal with each other.

 

Tuesday was the day he spent with JC, and he’d actually been looking forward to it until he’d arrived at JC’s house and realized that this was not his home. That JC had made a home with someone else, with three other someone else’s and didn’t remember him at all.

 

He could vividly remember their home, the one that they’d shared together before his world had been totally fucked up and no one was who and where they were supposed to be.

 

And now the door was mocking him. Daring him to knock and enter and have AJ knock him flat on his ass because that’s what he’d do to anyone who tried to steal JC from him.

 

“Are you going to stand out here all day?” JC was looking at him with an amused expression and Justin blinked… he hadn’t even seen the door open.

 

“I was just…”

 

“Staring at the door, you’ve seen it before J,” JC ushered him in, touching his back lightly as he pushed him forward letting the door close behind them. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

 

“It’s Tuesday,” Justin mumbled dumbly, his eyes seemed permanently locked on JC’s body. He’d never seen him look so… so normal. Just plain blue jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was straight, falling to his shoulders and he looked so familiar and so different at the same time that Justin wanted to cry.

 

JC was his home and all he wanted to do was curl himself around JC and allow himself to be petted and soothed and told that everything was going to be okay.

 

“You’re staring,” JC grinned at him falling in a graceful motion onto the couch.

 

“You just look…” beautiful he wanted to say. “Better…” he said instead.

 

JC smiled at him, a genuine smile that had always managed to make Justin feel weak-kneed before and was no different now. Instead of collapsing into a puddle at JC’s feet he collapsed onto the couch.

 

“Well my brain not trying to work its way out of my head through my eyes probably helps some.”

 

Justin smiled back at him, rolling his shoulders to try and relax. He’d never been this uncomfortable around JC before. Hadn’t even sat this far away from JC since they’d begun dating. A normal day like this one, a day of movies and whatnot he would have been curled up around him. JC’s head resting in his lap as he ran his fingers through his hair.

 

This would take some getting used to.

 

Clearing his throat in an attempt to dislodge the lump forming there he glanced around the room. Wished he hadn’t.

 

Pictures of JC with AJ lined the shelves surrounding the television. Pictures of JC and AJ looking happy.

 

God his life sucked.

 

“So what do you want to watch first?” JC was oblivious to his discomfort and sadness, had instead shifted on the couch and was flipping through a pile of DVD’s.

 

“Whatever,” Justin shrugged, which he realized as soon as the word left his mouth was not what he should have said. JC looked over at him in confusion.

 

“Whatever?” he asked eyebrows arching and what Justin would swear was amusement in his eyes.

 

“Umm…”

 

“So if I put in say…” JC flipped through the DVD’s and pulled one out to shake at him “When Harry Met Sally you won’t say a word.”

 

“I didn’t say that…”

 

“You didn’t?”

 

“Well no… it’s just you’ve been sick… and you know…” Justin struggled gamely on, stopping only when he saw JC’s shoulders shaking. “You’re such a bitch you know that,” he stated.

 

“You say such sweet things to me,” JC cooed.

 

“You don’t like it when I say sweet things to you,” Justin murmured softly. He glanced up as JC walked past him, DVD in hand. He watched him press the buttons, getting whatever movie he’d chosen ready. Frowned when he saw JC’s hands trembling.

 

Turning back to him JC crossed his arms across his chest, his eyes meeting Justin’s slowly.

 

“Jace?” he queried, his voice quiet as he moved to stand. He could swear those were tears in JC’s eyes, though he didn’t know why.

 

“Don’t… let’s just… watch the movie.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The kiss happened in the kitchen, four movies, two meals and a snack later.

 

Justin had been ready to give up ever seeing any sign of affection from JC ever again. Especially after spending the four movies having to keep his gaze from wandering to the photos.

 

He didn’t remember having two photos of the two of them lining a shelf let alone the near dozens that JC and AJ had obviously posed for.

 

It seemed like cruel and inhuman punishment to be forced to see that smile on JC’s face when he wasn’t the cause.

 

Justin kissed him because JC was laughing at him, reminiscent of old times when they’d be in the kitchen rinsing off plates and glasses before putting them in the dishwasher. When he’d trap JC against the sink or the counter, or some other hard surface and kiss him until they were both breathless and panting. He’d been so caught up in his memories of ‘old times’ that he’d just leaned in and took possession and JC had let him.

 

For about ten seconds.

 

Then his hand came up to slowly push Justin away, even as Justin’s hand came up to touch his face.

 

“You do love me,” he murmured an expression of wonder on his face.

 

“Please don’t do this,” JC’s voice was barely a whisper and tears were in his eyes.

 

“Jace?”

 

“I won’t choose between you, I can’t. Don’t make me.”

 

“But…”

 

“Please Justin,” JC mumbled as he neatly slipped out of the impromptu embrace that Justin had managed to pull him into.

 

“But you love me,” Justin protested.

 

“I love AJ to.”

 

“JC…”

 

“I’m not leaving him Justin, not ever. I won’t choose between you and neither one of is going to make me,” JC stated stubbornly, his eyes flashed angrily even as Justin noted the tears in them.

 

With one final look at Justin he turned on his heel and fled the room.

 

“Fuck.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

He stared at the water until darkness fell and he could no longer see the gentle ripples. His eyes fell shut and his hands clenched into fists at his side.

 

“I’m not leaving him Justin, not ever. I won’t choose between you and neither one of is going to make me.”

 

He was angry and he had no idea at who. He couldn’t be angry at JC who didn’t understand that it was okay for him to love Justin. That he was supposed to be with Justin.

 

Even here where this world was so different.

 

He couldn’t be angry at AJ, because AJ’s only fault was that he’d gotten there first.

 

He could be angry with himself because there seemed to be no one else to blame. He needed a plan, something to show JC that it was okay to be with him. That AJ wasn’t any good for him.

 

He just didn’t know how to do that when in this world AJ seemed to be making him happier than Justin had ever made him.

 

“It’s not supposed to be this hard,” he whispered dejectedly. The sound of twig breaking surprised him and he whirled.

 

Megan stood a few feet away watching him with gentle kindness, her eyes sad.

 

“Did you really think we would make it easy for you?”

 

******************************************************************************

 

“Did you really think we would make it easy for you?” Megan repeated moving a few steps closer as Justin gaped at her.

 

“What? What the hell did you do to me?!”

 

“Me?” Megan gestured to herself. “I didn’t do anything to you.”

 

“Then…”

 

“You asked for this… you made a wish… and it was granted.”

 

“This is insane,” he ran trembling fingers through his hair, glaring at them then back at the woman before him.

 

“Not really,” she shrugged.

 

“You know I’ve seen this episode of Buffy,” he spat. “Twice. Where’s the pendant? I want to smash it so I can go home.”

 

“No pendant,” Megan raised her arms to her side, allowing Justin’s eyes to rake down her slim form.

 

“Then it’s a ring,” she waggled bare fingers at him. “Broach,” she arched her neck to show a bare collar. “Then it’s a fucking garter belt,” Justin decided taking a step forward.

 

“I’m not stripping naked so you can search me,” Megan grumbled taking a step back. “And you’re not stuck in an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, use your brain, I know you have one.”

 

“Then what the hell is going on… and don’t tell me again that I asked for this because I so would remember. I was talking to JC once second and the next I’m standing in Chris’ backyard defending my sanity.”

 

Megan stared at him for a moment, head cocking, eyes narrowing, lips pursing in concentration.

 

“I’m a Guardian.”

 

“What the hell does your band have to do with this?”

 

“You shouldn’t swear so much, JC doesn’t like it,” she chided gently.

 

“Yeah well JC’s not here is he?! He’s with fucking AJ, he’s staying with AJ. Now tell me the truth.”

 

“I already told you, I’m a Guardian…”

 

“I know what your band is; I’ve seen your concert… although I have to say I liked our version of No Strings better than yours.”

 

“Don’t be catty Justin, and as for the other it’s not only who I am it’s what I am.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Justin…”

 

“Look I don’t understand and to be honest I really don’t care,” he said tiredly, his head bowing as he kicked at the ground with the toe of one shoe. “I just want to go home, I just want my fucking life back, I want JC back.”

 

“Justin you need to understand…” Megan began softly.

 

“Send me home please,” he begged.

 

“Justin look at me.”

 

He closed his eyes, refusing. It was all a dream.

 

A horrible, disturbing dream and when he woke up he’d be home and he’d roll over and JC would kiss him and they’d be okay.

 

“Justin look at me,” Megan ordered.

 

He raised his head slowly, eyes welling with tears. Before him he saw Megan standing there, blue jeans, black t-shirt an expression of sympathy on her face.

 

And then he blinked.

 

And Megan changed. Snow-white wings billowing proudly behind her, white armor lining her chest and arms.

 

Blink.

 

Blue jeans, black t-shirt. Megan’s expression changing to one of rueful indulgence.

 

“Do you understand now?” she asked softly. “Do you see?”

 

“I… You’re…” Justin sputtered eyes wide

 

“Yes.”

 

“But… but…”

 

“You made a wish, in your heart you wanted it, you believed it.”

 

“But I’ve never seen you before.”

 

“You didn’t make the wish to me. I’m not your Guardian.”

 

“Then who…?” Justin’s eyes opened impossibly wider. “JC?! JC isn’t… you’re lying; this is all some big joke… Ashton’s doing that damn show again,” he decided whirling in a circle. Searching the shrubs the trees. “It was funny the first time but now he’s just being an ass… where’s he hiding the cameras?” He ignored the wings that faded in and out of view. Obviously they were some sort of blue-screen, FX special effect trick.

 

Maybe if he ignored them long enough they’d just vanish because they very obviously couldn’t be real and they were beginning to drive him a little insane.

 

“Justin you need to listen to me if you want to fix this.”

 

“No I don’t, because this isn’t real Megan. Pay attention.”

 

“This is very real. Your life here is very real and nothing is going to change that… your world doesn’t exist anymore,” she said sharply, Justin’s eyes jerked over to meet hers.

 

“It doesn’t exist,” she repeated. “Not in the way that you remember it, it won’t ever exist again and you need to pay attention if you want to fix things.”

 

“But…”

 

“This isn’t a TV show and I’m not a demon Justin. You can’t destroy me and send yourself to anywhere but hell.”

 

“My world… doesn’t exist?” he asked, his voice small and trembling. “How is that possible? I remember…”

 

“Your wish was granted Justin, you made one and it was granted.”

 

“But I didn’t… I was just… and I was here and nothing makes sense anymore.”

 

“What do you remember Justin? Exactly.”

 

“JC and I were arguing.”

 

“Arguing?”

 

“We were fighting, I said some… I was pretty mean… He had me so angry, I couldn’t even look at him,” Justin said softly, his voice almost a whisper. Their eyes locked together he could swear he saw understanding dawning in hers.

 

“You weren’t looking at him?” she asked quietly.

 

“No… I turned away, I just… You don’t understand I was so mad. If I’d stayed looking at him I would have…”

 

“What did you say Justin?”

 

“I…” his eyes closed and words flooded his mind.

 

“You know sometimes I wish that I’d never called you.”

 

“I didn’t mean it,” Justin whispered. “I would never…”

 

“What else Justin?”

 

“What else? Isn’t that bad enough?”

 

“But that wasn’t everything, what else did you say?” Megan asked though Justin could tell from her expression that she already knew exactly what had been spoken. She was just doing this for his benefit. So he could understand the choice that he’d made.

 

He wondered if Nick had ever had her speak to him with that underlying tone of steel.

 

“I…”

 

“Maybe we’d be able to make this work if we weren’t in the same band.”

 

The words floated in the air between them.

 

“Who did it? If it wasn’t you I mean?”

 

“Who do you think Justin?”

 

“No…”

 

“He’s always looked out for you, protected you to the best of his ability. He would lay down his life for you.”

 

“Please don’t,” he backed away a step.

 

“He’d change his world for you, his life… to give you what you wanted, what you thought you wanted.”

 

“I didn’t want this,” Justin whispered as Megan took a step toward him.

 

Her wings flickered in and out of view; and an image of what JC’s would look like flitted unbidden into Justin’s mind.

 

They’d be bright white, full, beautiful wings. Because everything about JC had always been beautiful. They’d flare proudly behind him because JC always wore everything proudly, whether it be flowered Capri pants or large snow-white wings. He’d wear the armor as proudly to.

 

He wondered insanely if they had to polish the armor themselves, and if so where exactly you bought the supplies for that. Was there a store or some sort of service that did that for them? Then banished that thought from his mind.

 

Because it couldn’t be true, any of it. It was impossible.

 

He’d known JC forever and a day, had been his lover for years and he’d never seen any sign of wings.

 

He was sure that he would have noticed something as obvious as that.

 

“To put things right you need to prove yourself right. You need to prove to him that you can make a relationship work without being in the same band, without tearing each other apart.”

 

“AJ…” Justin protested weakly.

 

“You’ll have to work around him. I’ll help you as much as I can, but you’re not my charge and I won’t interfere. I can’t interfere. I will tell you that JC will not leave AJ for you. He loves him just as much as he loves you. If you want JC back, you’ll have to work on AJ as well. They’re a package deal at this point.”

 

“I don’t think of AJ like that.”

 

“I’d learn to.”

 

“I don’t even like him.”

 

“I’d start.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

“So are you going to tell me or are we going to just sit here and pretend that you’re not going nuts,” Nick glanced over at the passenger seat where AJ was steadily tapping a staccato rhythm out on the door handle.

 

It was beginning to drive him just a little crazy.

 

“Do you want me to turn the radio on?” AJ asked blankly, staring forward, fingers never halting.

 

“I want you to talk to me,” Nick said with more than a little exasperation.

 

AJ glanced over at him, then shot a look over his shoulder at the back seat as he sighed. Nick was being more vocal than usual and Megan was being more quiet than usual.

 

He blinked when he realized that the backseat was empty.

 

“Did we forget Megan?” he asked in confusion looking over at Nick.

 

To which Nick frowned, gnawing on his bottom lip as his eyes flickered between the road and AJ.

 

“She left the studio a couple hours ago, said that she had something to take care of before she went home.”

 

“That doesn’t worry you?” AJ frowned and Nick knew that he too was remembering all the times that Leighanne had left Brian at the studio ‘to take care of stuff’ while he was busy singing with the group that she wanted him to leave.

 

“I trust Meggie, besides Jace would kick her ass if she was playing around on me. You know how seriously he takes that whole monogamy thing…. I mean he made you give up your multitude of femme fatales and pretty boys,” Nick smirked.

 

“It wasn’t much of a hardship.” And it hadn’t been. AJ had been more than willing to cut everyone else out of his bed as long as he could keep JC in it.

 

“Hmm… so?”

 

AJ sighed loudly again, twining his fingers together. Wishing for a cigarette, some alcohol, something to ease this deep ache that he could feel stirring around inside him.

 

He had this horrible, gnawing feeling that his life was about to irrevocably change.

 

“Has she said anything to you?”

 

“Meggie? About what?”

 

“About JC.”

 

“You mean about his migraines…” Nick nodded with understanding. “You know I’d be the last person she’d tell… because she knows that I’d tell you right away if it was something really bad.”

 

“That doesn’t bother you?” AJ asked in surprise, watched as Nick shrugged. It bothered him more than he’d ever admit. Sometimes he got the feeling that Megan didn’t trust him at all. That she would share her body and her life with him but not her secrets.

 

And he knew she had secrets. Everyone had secrets… even him.

 

“So she hasn’t said anything at all.”

 

Nick shook his head. “She seemed a bit worried about him a couple days ago; in fact judging by the level of over protectiveness of The Guardians in general over the last couple of weeks I would have said that was something was wrong but…”

 

“But?”

 

“She doesn’t seem all that concerned anymore. And she really didn’t seem bothered by the fact that we were leaving JC alone in the house all day.”

 

“Justin was going to be there,” and there was the hint of bitterness that AJ couldn’t quite mask.

 

“You know you don’t have anything to worry about.”

 

“He’s an attractive, determined young man that wants to steal my lover from me… and you think I don’t have anything to worry about?”

 

“You think Justin’s attractive? I thought you didn’t look at other people anymore.”

 

“I don’t look, but I’m not dead either…”

 

“Still you don’t have anything to worry about, Justin’s come onto him before and JC’s always blown him off.”

 

“I think JC’s not sure what he’s feeling for Justin any more.”

 

“JC’s not interested in him.”

 

“I wouldn’t be to sure about that,” AJ said darkly.

 

“You know…” Nick mused, flipping his turning signal on he pulled into their driveway. “I would never have thought Justin was gay… he played that really close to the vest.”

 

“And we probably never would have found out if I hadn’t caught him trying to kiss JC.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

“Would you stop staring at me!” Justin could tell that Megan was pretty much on her last nerve, and he really wanted to just stare out the window and wait patiently for them to arrive back at JC’s.

 

But she’d had wings.

 

Big white wings, that were now gone, but now that he was past his initial shock he wanted to touch them.

 

So she needed to bring them back so he could feel them. Because it would be a shame if he ran screaming from the room the first time he saw JC’s. Let alone tried to touch them.

 

Touching Megan’s would at least prepare him for some of the sensations.

 

Right.

 

“Get that thought right out of your head Timberlake,” she muttered.

 

“You’re not psychic are you?” Justin’s eyes widened in alarm. He’d been having some pretty freaky fantasies about him and JC and JC’s wings.

 

“I don’t need to be, it’s written all over your face. You’re not feeling up my wings.”

 

“I don’t want to feel them up… its just… They are real right?”

 

“As opposed to fake ones that hook on with a hanger?”

 

“As opposed to a mirage… or something. I mean back at the lake, they kept kind of fading in and out like they weren’t really there…”

 

“They weren’t really there; I was just showing you the image of my alternate form. The wings themselves were still out of phase.”

 

“So if you were to show me your ‘alternate’ form I’d be able to touch them… right?”

 

“Yes you would,” Megan said shortly, Justin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “But I’m not going to do that,” she continued abruptly, Justin’s face falling.

 

“But…”

 

“Look Justin… unfurling one’s wings, allowing someone to see them, touch them. It’s a very private thing.”

 

“Have you ever done that? Shown someone your true form?”

 

“Yes,” and from the way Megan was now gripping the steering wheel, knuckles turning white it had obviously not gone well.

 

“Sorry,” he winced.

 

“It’s not your fault,” she said shortly. Hesitating only a moment before he could practically see her forcing herself to relax.

 

“Yeah but still…it wasn’t Nick was it?” he asked with alarm. He actually liked Nick Carter in this world. The young man had none of the sarcastic ego that he’d had gotten used to in the other world

 

“No… just no… I’m not showing you my wings again and if you’re going to touch anyone’s its going to be JC’s.”

 

“Hey. Does he know that you came to… you know tell me all about this huge secret that he’s been keeping from me forever?”

 

“He had his reasons…”

 

“Does he know?”

 

“He knows,” Megan winced. “In theory he knows.”

 

“In theory… what the hell does that mean?” Justin’s eyes narrowed as he looked over at her.

 

“He knew that someone was going to talk to you…”

 

“Why not him?”

 

“Because technically he’s still your Guardian he’s just… not your practicing Guardian. When he granted your wish…”

 

“Which I really didn’t want anyway,” Justin stated emphatically.

 

“Don’t fool yourself Justin… JC would never have been able to grant it if you hadn’t really wanted it. That’s the way it works. He didn’t just listen to your words, he looked at your heart… and at the moment you said the words that was what your heart wanted, what it needed, so he gave it to you.”

 

“He should hate me,” Justin mumbled.

 

“JC could never hate you, ever…”

 

“But I screwed up everything. I mean all the stuff we worked so hard for. *NSYNC, our friends, our relationship… our lives. It’s all gone, everything’s gone like it was never even there.”

 

“And now you have a chance to do it over again, don’t feel sorry for yourself Justin. Don’t punish yourself. It’s done and over with and now you have to move on.”

 

“Does Nick know? You know about…” Justin gestured at where wings would normally be fluttering in the breeze and armor would be gleaming.

 

“No… And he’s not going to know… I have a semi-normal existence here; I’d like to keep it.”

 

“Umm Megan you have wings how normal can that be?”

 

“Do you want to hear about my life in your world?” she asked sharply and Justin decided just from the tone of her voice that no, he didn’t want to know anything about her life there.

 

Because his first instincts were probably right… it definitely had not been pretty.

 

“Did you know JC there?”

 

Megan was silent for a minute. “Yes… we weren’t friends there though, we wouldn’t even be friends now if you hadn’t…” she waved her hand and Justin nodded.

 

If he hadn’t decided to totally fuck his life up with what he thought was just one throwaway comment.

 

******************************************************************************

 

JC ran his fingers down the banister, glancing at the dust that accumulated before brushing it off on his jeans.

 

He would have to talk to the cleaning crew that came in… there was way to much dust for the cleaning they billed them for.

 

“Are you okay?” Damian watched him carefully. It had only been two hours since Justin had left and Megan had set off after him. He’d watched JC go through a wide range of emotions in that time. He hoped this wasn’t the one thing that would break him.

 

“Do you think he knows yet?” the tips of JC’s fingers traced the images presented before him. He and AJ, arms wrapped around each other the day they had come out to the public. The fear in their eyes even as they’d smiled for their friends and family.

 

He and Justin smiling brightly on the last day of filming for MMC. If he looked carefully he could see Britney and Tony and Christina hovering in the background.

 

He and Megan, him hovering close to her even though he at the time hadn’t remembered anything about his other life.

 

“By now… yes…” Damian said softly, his eyes soft and worried.

 

JC pressed a hand to his head and sighed. Conflicting memories dogged his every step. Memories of his life with Justin, memories of his life with AJ butted against each other. Each fiercely fighting for dominance, for importance.

 

I won’t choose between them.

 

He loved them both. He’d had so much time with Justin, and so much time with AJ and now those two worlds were getting ready to collide in a huge way and he really didn’t think he was all that prepared for it.

 

AJ was going to be pissed.

 

Justin was going to be furious.

 

Nick… he worried about Nick’s reaction especially knowing what he knew about Megan’s last days.

 

“Do you think sending Megan to Justin was the best idea?” JC asked quietly, he stared at the picture of Megan and Nick. They looked happy; he wondered if they would still look that happy in a few more hours.

 

“Well someone needed to stay here with you and Sarah can’t talk so…” Damian shrugged, he’d been elected to stay with JC because he was bigger, and stronger and faster. If JC had tried to run, to stop the inevitable Megan wouldn’t have been able to stop him… but Damian. He didn’t pull his punches, JC couldn’t get around him.

 

And he’d tried.

 

Panic had taken ahold about 60 minutes prior and Damian had held him at bay until it subsided into a fierce ache.

 

His life was getting ready to pretty much suck… a lot.

 

“Megan was pretty much it,” Damian finished.

 

“We could have sent for someone else to come in.”

 

“Who? Megan has done this before…”

 

“And look how well that went,” JC muttered bitterly dragging a hand through his hair.

 

“We couldn’t have known that it would go badly.”

 

“Badly?! She was tortured Damian, they tried to remove her wings, when they couldn’t do that they tried to kill her… if Justin hadn’t made that wish…” JC’s hands clenched at his side. He could vividly remember the feeling of utter hopelessness.

 

They couldn’t go after her, didn’t even know where she was being held. They knew she was alive because they could feel the utter terror rolling off of her wherever she was.

 

She’d been so scared and he’d been so caught up in it that he’d missed things.

 

He’d been distracted, so distracted that Justin, who picked up on the slightest changes in his mood had noticed.

 

And had taken exception.

 

The whole basis of their last fight had been because JC had been so caught up in the drama surrounding Megan that he’d not answered quickly enough in support of Justin when Lance had voiced concerns about Justin’s loyalty to the group.

 

Justin had taken his distraction as agreement, thought he’d sided with Lance and Joey.

 

And then they’d fought, Justin had said what he’d said. Made the wish which he’d believed in his heart and wanted with all his being and JC had granted it because he always gave Justin what he wanted. What he needed.

 

Waking in his new life with Megan (an uninjured, uncaptured Megan) staring at him with something akin to shock.

 

Which he hadn’t understood because while the other Guardians (and Justin it seemed) surfaced with memories still intact, his memories took a little while to catch up with the rest of him.

 

And now…

 

Everything that he’d never told Justin, never told AJ… all the secrets that he’d kept from both of them would be finally laid out in the open. He could only hope that neither of them had the same response that Megan’s one charge had.

 

That they wouldn’t think he was a freak or an abomination.

 

“AJ and Justin are not Sam,” Damian said emphatically. “Neither’s Nick but Megan’s so scarred by what happened that she won’t believe that right now.”

 

“If you’d been through what she has could you?”

 

“I don’t know… sometimes I think it would have been better for her to not have her memories.”

 

“That wasn’t our call… someone other than us made that decision.”

 

“They could have stopped you…”

 

“And you know they would have if it was meant to be… I was meant to grant Justin’s wish, to change this world…” JC walked to the window when he heard the car pull into the driveway. Damian moved up alongside him, his hand coming to rest on his shoulder lightly in solidarity.

 

A reminder that whatever else happened. He was not alone in this.

 

Maybe that would be enough if this all went badly and both AJ and Justin left him.

 

“JC…” Damian started softly.

 

JC plastered a bright smile to his face, Damian’s hand falling from his shoulder as he turned away from the window.

 

“It’s show time.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Damian’s car was in the driveway in Megan’s usual spot when they pulled in. A frown crossed AJ’s face as he studied the car then turned to look at the house.

 

All the lights were on. Which wasn’t unusual since Justin was spending the day with JC but…

 

Damian’s presence on this particular day was unusual though and AJ couldn’t help the prickle of unease that ran down his spine.

 

“Damian’s here,” Nick’s voice was quiet beside him and AJ could hear his own unease echoed in Nick’s voice. Nice to know that he wasn’t alone in feeling the strangeness.

 

“No Megan,” AJ commented before he opened the door and exited the car. He could see the curtains in the living room sway and knew that either Damian or JC had been looking outside. Watching… waiting for their arrival.

 

He was scared to enter his own home. Part of him wanted to order Nick back into the car and flee, hide at Brian’s or Kevin’s or Howie’s until things felt right and comfortable again.

 

“Maybe something happened?” Nick questioned quietly keeping stride with AJ as the older man walked with purposeful steps to the house.

 

“I think they would have called or come to the studio.”

 

“You know JC, purity of the sound or something… he wouldn’t come to the studio. Not unless he had no other choice.”

 

AJ let his hand hover over the doorknob, hesitating as he drew a deep breath. He could feel Nick right behind him. A solid, worried presence at his back.

 

Megan had left the studio with errands to run, her car wasn’t here. He hoped for Nick’s sake that nothing had happened to her.

 

JC had been alone with Justin, it looked as if Justin was no longer here, the car he normally drove not being parked in the driveway, maybe something had happened between the two of them?

 

But why would JC have called Damian and not AJ?

 

The door opened before AJ had a chance to make any move, before he could quiet the thoughts that were running rampant. He felt fear and he hated it.

 

He hadn’t felt it since JC and he had come out.

 

Damian stood in the doorway and the grin that was on his face looked more like a grimace being forced into a smile than anything else.

 

“Something wrong?” AJ asked quietly as they moved into the house, Damian shook his head closing the door behind Nick. AJ couldn’t help but notice that Damian scanned the driveway as if he was looking for someone.

 

Megan was obviously expected… but from the look on Damian’s face she had been expected back sooner and had not arrived. Maybe JC being the slight worry wart that he was had called Damian for moral support.

 

“I guess it depends on what you term as being wrong,” Damian’s voice was quiet as the three walked toward the living room. AJ coming to an immediate halt when he caught sight of JC.

 

Face pale, arms wrapped around himself in a manner that AJ remembered from when they had first starting ‘seeing’ each other.

 

JC was folding in on himself, protecting himself from whatever was to come. AJ knew from past experience in dealing with JC like this that if he moved closer JC would skitter away from him. He hated being touched when he was like this; normally he locked himself away in a room and barred everyone from entering.

 

Damian must have arrived before this had started.

 

AJ glared at the Guardian that was moving around the room, then his eyes narrowed in surprise and slight anger when JC allowed the hand that Damian placed on his shoulder to remain.

 

Normally he would have shrugged it off.

 

“Jace?” AJ moved forward quickly, Nick right beside him. If JC was allowing Damian’s touch than he could damn well allow his. He was proud that his hand didn’t shake when he reached forward to touch JC’s cheek. Praying desperately for JC to accept him… he stroked his cheek softly with his thumb as he stared into his lovers eyes.

 

“We…” JC’s voice faltered and he glanced over at Damian, clearing his throat at Damian’s nod. “We should wait…” his voice was barely a whisper. AJ’s eyes flickered between the two men. If JC got any paler he would fade away into nothing, and suddenly AJ realized that the hand on JC’s shoulder was giving him strength. Damian was being strong for both of them, even though AJ could see fear in his eyes.

 

“Did something happen with Justin? Did he hurt you?” he asked quietly. Beside him he could hear Nick’s quickly indrawn breath. Then could feel the palpable relief when JC shook his head no. “Megan?” Another indrawn breath, this one laced with fear.

 

“She’ll be back soon…” Damian said softly. We hope was unspoken.

 

“Where is she?” Nick asked finally joining the conversation at the mention of his girlfriend.

 

“They’ll be back soon,” Damian said again.

 

“They?” AJ’s eyes narrowed as JC closed his eyes.

 

“She went to bring Justin back.”

 

“Justin? Did you guys have a fight?” AJ finally stopped fighting the urge to pull JC into his arms and did so. JC unresisting as he laid his head on AJ’s shoulder.

 

“There’s some… things we need to tell you,” Damian’s hand stayed on JC’s shoulder even as JC’s arms wound around AJ tightly.

 

“Things? What kind of things?” AJ asked in alarm. Several things sprang to mind… the constant pain that JC had been in the last few weeks, the distance that he’d felt as Justin had been making his play for JC… but Nick wouldn’t need to be there for that.

 

Maybe something with Megan… the distance that always seemed to pop up between Nick and Meggie.

 

The frisson of fear was back again.

 

“I’m not sick,” JC’s breath puffed against his neck a slight smile forming against his skin.

 

“Good,” a sigh of relief as AJ pulled back. Not sick, good. They could deal with anything else. He could deal with anything else.

 

JC being sick and AJ not being able to help him would have been more than he could bear.

 

“So can we sit then? Or do you want to do this standing up?” he forced a small grin, which grew wider when JC returned it weakly then leaned forward to kiss him gently.

 

Just a hint of tongue against his lips and an “I love you” before JC pulled back, but it was enough. It was a reaffirmation of their feelings for each other. Of JC’s feelings for him. AJ was momentarily shamed at how desperately he’d needed that reaffirmation.

 

Something was obviously going on. JC was scared, Damian was scared, Megan was missing but returning with Justin of all people.

 

JC dropped his arms, taking one of AJ’s hands in his own. Gripping it tightly as he led the way to the couch, sitting, releasing AJ’s hand he linked them together in his lap and stared at them.

 

Damian and Nick moved things around and sat on the coffee table facing them.

 

AJ laid an arm across JC’s stiff shoulders his eyes meeting Nick’s. Aware that the questions he could see in his were the same as in his own.

 

“So…”

 

“We should really wait for Meggie and Justin,” Damian stated, JC’s sharp nod indicating his agreement. “That way we only have to do this once.”

 

“Don’t want to do this at all,” JC muttered under his breath.

 

“Jace…”

 

“This is stupid Damian,” JC hissed practically jumping to his feet. “They don’t need to know this, any of this.”

 

“Yes they do…” Damian’s voice was perfectly calm, understanding laced in it. AJ got the impression that they’d had this conversation more than once while they’d been waiting for everyone to arrive. “They deserve to know.”

 

“It’s going to go badly,” JC warned dragging a shaking hand through his hair. Wrapping his arms around himself once again as he folded into himself. “It always does…”

 

“JC…”

 

“Does someone want to tell us what’s going on? You know since both of you obviously are in the know and…” Nick’s voice was agitated and AJ knew that it was because Megan wasn’t here, that she’d gone after Justin of all people.

 

“We’re waiting for…”

 

“We’re here,” Megan’s voice was quiet at the doorway and as everyone turned AJ wondered how they’d missed her car pulling into the driveway. How they’d missed her coming into the house. Justin was silent beside her although he seemed to be vibrating with energy.

 

And happiness?

 

So hopefully whatever was going on here wasn’t going to be bad news per se. Or maybe just bad for him and good for Justin?

 

But no JC had allowed him to touch him, to kiss him, had told him that he loved him.

 

There was something else going on here.

 

“Okay,” AJ slowly rose to his feet moving to JC’s side, Damian and Nick following suit as Megan and Justin entered the room. “The gangs all here… someone mind telling us what’s going on now?”

 

“Where’s Sarah?” Megan asked eyes focusing on Damian.

 

“She was… checking in. Some stuff going on the others couldn’t take care of.”

 

“She can’t talk,” Megan’s voice was a quiet reminder of something that everyone knew already.

 

“She won’t need to. If something happens they’ll let us know.”

 

Megan nodded as she moved into the room, AJ could tell from the expression on her face that she wanted to go to Nick, that she wanted the same support that JC had garnered from his brief moment with AJ (although that had seemed to dissipate quickly) but that she was scared to do so.

 

“Have you told them?” she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her arms as if cold. Positioned in the room so that she could see everyone. Her eyes flitted to Nick, then AJ, then Justin.

 

“We were waiting for you,” Damian reminded her softly. “Did you…” his eyes focused on Justin but AJ could tell just by looking at him that whatever information he and Nick were being forced to wait on Justin had already been told.

 

“Yes,” Megan stared at JC whose eyes refused to raise to meet hers.

 

“And?” JC’s voice was a quiet whisper. So soft that for a moment AJ didn’t even realize that it had been him that had spoken.

 

“It’s okay C,” Justin’s voice was strong, confident and AJ’s eyes flew to him. He’d never heard Justin sound like that.

 

Ever.

 

He always sounded like some petulant teen that had been told that he couldn’t have what he’d always wanted.

 

But now… he sounded different.

 

“I understand now,” Justin’s voice was still strong and now he was moving forward, stopping directly in front of JC.

 

“Do you?” JC still stared at the ground, although AJ knew that he was staring at the toes of Justin’s shoes now.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well since you understand does someone want to explain it to us,” Nick’s voice was laced with annoyance. Everyone seemed to be talking in code and no one wanted to say what was really going on. “Because AJ and I are still in the dark here.”

 

Megan and Damian both looked at JC who still refused to look up, Justin touched his arm and AJ bit back a snarl.

 

“Megan said it wouldn’t be easy,” Justin said softly and AJ knew that his words weren’t meant for them, they were meant for JC alone. “I’m going to make this up to you, make this right… put things back the way they were supposed to be.”

 

“Justin,” Megan stepped forward and by the tone of her voice AJ could tell that she and Justin had already had a conversation on this topic.

 

“What do you have to make up for?” JC’s eyes finally rose from where they’d been studying the carpet, staring into Justin’s eyes intently. “I’m the one that did this, I made this, you were upset and so was I, but I still took your words at value, still looked at your heart as if you weren’t.”

 

“JC?” AJ moved closer, his hand touching JC’s other arm. He had a feeling that JC and Justin knew exactly what the other was saying, even as he and Nick were in the dark. “What’s…”

 

“I made a wish,” Justin turned to him, and AJ was frozen in place by the expression on his face. Apology and understanding. Two looks that he’d never seen on Justin before.

 

JC’s voice barely a whisper broke through the fog that was surrounding him. “And I granted it.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

To say he didn’t understand would have been a massive understatement.

 

Then there were the looks passing between JC and Justin and Megan and Damian and for some reason Nick thought he should have understood.

 

JC stared at Justin and a thousand conversations were being held right in front of him and Nick didn’t understand where this new bond had come from.

 

Because JC… was staring at Justin exactly like he stared at AJ, like Nick stared at Megan. Like he knew who Justin was.

 

Nick was proud of AJ, he stayed at JC’s side, his hand still resting lightly on his arm as he watched the byplay between the two men. AJ didn’t scream or throw fists which would have been the norm when someone tried to come between him and JC.

 

Maybe AJ was feeling the same thing that he was… that Justin somehow belonged with JC. Which was just bizarre because he hadn’t felt that way four days ago and now…

 

Nick glanced over at Megan who was shifting on her feet. She kept glancing at him, mouth opening then shutting and finally her arms wrapped around herself. A reminder of how alike JC and Megan were.

 

A defensive pose, curling into herself as if she expected someone to try and hurt her. Which she should know by now that Nick would never allow.

 

He would protect her to his last breath.

 

“Justin,” JC whispered and his voice was full of agony. Of pain.

 

Responding, as he always did to JC’s pain, AJ moved closer to him, an arm going around his shoulder to pull him tight against his body. His chin came up and his eyes hardened as he dared Justin to say anything. To try anything.

 

But Justin didn’t. Justin stood silent, his eyes still focused on JC although he moved closer until JC would have had to take a step back to keep their bodies from touching. JC though didn’t move and though AJ scowled, a deep growl escaping from his throat he didn’t try to draw JC away when Justin leaned forward his forehead resting lightly against JC’s.

 

“I’m sorry,” Justin whispered. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

 

Nick frowned at the pain in Justin’s voice. And maybe that was why AJ didn’t yank JC away when Justin pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back.

 

AJ wrapped both arms around JC as Justin stepped back, cradling him in the protective circle of his arms.

 

Now he glared at Justin as JC stood there, unmoving.

 

“So does someone want to explain?” Nick asked. “Because ironically AJ and are still in the dark here.”

 

“It’s a long story,” Damian murmured, his eyes locked with Megan’s and she issued a sharp nod that Nick would have missed if he hadn’t been staring directly at her.

 

“It’s really not,” Justin stated. “It’s really very simple. I made a wish, JC granted it.”

 

“Yeah, I think we got that the first time,” AJ muttered. “But what does it mean? And don’t even tell me that you asked JC to move in here and he said yes…”

 

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Megan’s soft voice rang clear through the room.

 

“Just a bit,” JC agreed as he extracted himself from AJ’s arms. A soft hand touched his cheek and JC smiled wanly at him as he kissed him gently, before stepping away to stand beside Damian.

 

Megan moved forward then, arms still wrapped around herself as she moved to JC’s other side.

 

“There’s things that you don’t know,” Damian started quietly. “About us…”

 

“I can do this Damian,” JC cut him off shaking his head. “This is my problem; I’m the one that did this.”

 

“Actually I’m the one that did this,” Justin interrupted.

 

“Alright, someone better start explaining,” AJ’s eyes darted from Damian, to JC to Megan. Not moving away when Justin came to stand beside him.

 

“I was angry you see,” Justin said his hand moving to touch AJ’s arm.

 

“Justin…” JC’s voice was a warning, one that Justin ignored as Nick moved to the two of them.

 

“JC and I were arguing,” Justin continued as if JC hadn’t even spoke, his eyes hazy with remembrance and Nick hoped there was a good explanation. Because AJ was about 30 seconds away from hitting Justin from even daring to argue with JC. Regardless of when or how it happened.

 

“The guys, Chris and Joey and Lance, they were all inside. Waiting just in case it got violent. Because you know JC can’t fight… and when he does he looks just ridiculous…”

 

Justin continued, JC remained silent although Megan and Damian both jumped in with comments periodically. About a world where Justin and JC had been together, AJ had been straight and engaged and Nick had been sailing boats. About a world where Justin and JC had been fighting and JC had granted a wish that Justin said he didn’t really want. The story was to insane to be true, although Nick got the distinct impression that AJ believed it. His face was melting into one of reluctant understanding.

 

Because Justin’s voice was earnest and pure. Talking about waking in this strange world that he’d inadvertently created. Where his life as he knew it was totally different, that he’d lost everything.

 

His band, his lover, his friends. Everything was different.

 

He pretty much might have been able to convince Nick that he was speaking the truth if he hadn’t had to segue into the whole ‘The Guardians are not human I think they’re some type of Angel’, followed almost immediately by the ‘hey Nick did you know your girlfriend has wings’ and Nick once more thought he was smoking crack.

 

Would have continued thinking it if he hadn’t seen the expression on Megan’s face, the almost full body withdraw that she was doing.

 

Nick was surprised that she hadn’t yet mastered making herself invisible because she was certainly giving it her all.

 

“Do you really expect us to buy this?” Nick asked angrily since AJ was silently contemplating life or some shit.

 

“You don’t have to buy anything,” Justin’s voice echoed his anger. “I’m just telling you that four days ago you were a conceited ass who thought he was gods gift and… well now you’re not. I think that must be mostly Megan’s influence.”

 

“I was straight? And you have wings?” AJ asked softly, his eyes were locked with JC’s and Nick wondered how he’d missed that. How he’d missed the fact that JC’s eyes were filled with tears and then remembered that for the past ten minutes he’d been wondering where Justin was getting his drugs.

 

Megan’s arms unfolded and she nudged JC gently in the side. JC shook his head in response although his eyes never broke contact with AJ’s.

 

“JC,” she whispered.

 

“No,” JC’s voice was stiff and unwavering. “You said we had to tell them but…”

 

“JC,” Damian’s voice was filled with steel and JC’s head bowed. He paused for a minute and Nick exchanged a look with AJ. Because this wasn’t true.

 

It couldn’t be.

 

He ignored Justin bouncing on his toes in anticipation.

 

Then JC moved. Slowly pulling his shirt over his head he tossed it to the ground and stood before them clad only in jeans, head still bowed as the air around him, around Megan and Damian seemed to shimmer with an almost opalescent light.

 

Then slowly, so very slowly that Nick’s eyes widened and he totally forgot to breathe, white feathers, white fucking wings unfurled behind JC. Flapping once, arched to their fullest height almost six inches taller than JC himself, they then relaxed, curling around JC protectively.

 

“Oh,” Nick breathed.

 

“My,” AJ gasped.

 

“God,” Justin sighed.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin was only aware of AJ peripherally. One glance over at him showed the same stunned, amazed, curious expression that he was sure was mirrored on his own face. He wasn’t sure how all those expressions were being managed. He was pretty sure that to Nick, Megan and Damian they just looked like gaping fish.

 

He was surprised they weren’t being laughed at.

 

A step forward was mimicked by AJ until they were just in front of JC, who still hadn’t looked up from his steady perusal of the floor. He looked to be utterly engrossed by it and Justin wondered what was so fascinating about it, it looked like just plain, boring carpeting. It was a sort of light brown and there was absolutely nothing interesting about that.

 

Hands reached out slowly, one of his, one of AJ’s. Stroking down the edge of the gently fluttering wings softly. Allowing the feathers to slip through their fingers, Justin smiled at the sensation.

 

They were so soft and Justin wanted to bury his face in them.

 

Wanted to inhale the scent of JC and this otherworldly part of him. That would probably freak JC right out. Because he wanted to forcibly ingrain that smell within himself so he could pinpoint JC’s location anywhere, anytime so he could never be lost again.

 

From the deeply indrawn breath he heard coming from AJ’s corner he knew that the other man wanted to do the same exact thing. So at least he wasn’t alone in what he wanted. AJ probably wanted JC to make love to him with those wings wrapped tightly around them both, because god knew that was one of the only images that continuously flashed through his mind.

 

He was a freak. He knew that, would freely admit it if asked.

 

Thank god JC and the others weren’t psychic.

 

He glanced up at JC’s face curiously, saw AJ doing the same.

 

Because JC was trembling, just slightly but enough. There was no fear on his face although the expression on his face was still decidedly blank. Like he was waiting for Justin and AJ to say something before he decided on what he was feeling.

 

He reached up his left hand, his right still busy stroking the beautiful wings, and touched JC’s stomach. A gentle caress and a heavy breath was released from JC as he finally met their eyes.

 

He smiled and he knew AJ was doing the same next to him and JC’s expression relaxed.

 

“I am sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Megan had armor,” Justin said by way of response.

 

JC closed his eyes and air around him shimmered again, where Justin’s fingers were touching skin and feathers there was a jolt, a shock. Not as fierce as it would have been if he’d perhaps shoved a coin into an outlet, but just enough that next time he’d ask JC to warn him first so he could withdraw, and then his attention focused on the white armor that now lined JC’s arms and torso.

 

“I thought it was metal…” Justin said in surprise. He realized almost absently that his fingers were no longer stroking the skin of JC’s stomach but what appeared to be leather.

 

“Must be a bitch to clean,” AJ commented. A hint of smile crossed his face and he did exactly what Justin had wanted to do minutes earlier and buried his face in JC’s wings. Inhaling deeply.

 

JC gasped, back arching and Justin just knew without being told that AJ had just bit down on something. Either a feather or the muscle of the wings themselves. He fell to his knees before them, dislodging AJ. Hands reaching out he grabbed at one of AJ’s and one of Justin’s. Clenching tightly.

 

“They’re beautiful C,” Justin murmured. “They’re so very beautiful.”

 

Tears filled JC’s eyes and Justin wondered if this was the first time he’d been brave enough to show anyone his true self. He knew Megan had done it and it had gone badly, had that been why JC had kept this all a secret?

 

Why all of them had.

 

Because he, they were afraid that whatever Megan had gone through they would have to go through as well?

 

“They are,” AJ nodded, he reached out a shaking hand that belied his fearless expression and cupped JC’s face within it. “You should have told me, us.”

 

JC blinked rapidly, clearing his vision. “I was scared,” he whispered, his eyes flickering up at Megan who was standing stoically to one side.

 

Once again Justin wondered what had happened to her. What had been so horrible that it had forced the others like her to live in fear of being found out.

 

“Would never hurt you,” Justin murmured. “Ever.” He gripped JC’s hand tightly within his, as if he could somehow force him by that action alone to believe and trust, then he wondered how this was going to work.

 

JC was out with AJ, they’d taken that chance that Justin had never been brave enough to take. They’d announced to the world and their family and their friends that they were in love and together. JC loved AJ almost desperately. But he also loved Justin desperately. He’d already said that he was unwilling to choose between them. He had a feeling if they forced him to try that they would both lose.

 

That JC would walk away from both of them instead of having to choose between them.

 

The ideal situation would be to share him, to work out some complicated schedule that allowed both him and AJ at the very least time with JC. The problem was Justin didn’t think either he or AJ were big enough to be willing to share him, to allow someone else to share in the love that each felt for him.

 

Nevermind the sex thing.

 

A shadow fell over JC’s face and Justin looked up to see Nick standing to one side of JC, his expression still awed. A glance over at Megan showed her face blank, Damian standing beside her a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Can I…?” Nick asked softly gesturing at the wings that had relaxed since JC had and were now swaying gently, proudly behind JC.

 

JC glanced over at Megan as if asking for permission in allowing her lover to touch him, when she nodded once he smiled up at Nick, a sign that Nick took as an ok and reached out a hand. Just the tips of his fingers touching them to begin with, then as he became comfortable his whole hand folded over and held feathers within his hands.

 

“Oh wow,” he was almost breathless, his expression awestruck and Justin decided that whatever reaction Megan had been waiting for this couldn’t be it, because Nick was smiling softly. Happily. She had nothing to fear from Nick, everything would be okay, he obviously wasn’t going to turn on her like someone else obviously had.

 

Of course that was all dependent on Megan being able to trust herself enough to tell Nick everything. Somehow Justin didn’t think she was ready. She was still scarred and scared.

 

“Angels?” AJ asked softly.

 

“Not… really…” Megan responded, JC’s eyes were closed now, AJ’s thumb stroking his cheek, Justin stroking his hand, Nick stroking feathers. He was in bliss, accepted and reveling in it.

 

“Not really?”

 

“We’re… Guardians, not really Angels… something… else… I guess…” she said weakly.

 

“So like Guardian Angels, not really heaven bound, but something similar.”

 

“Yeah… I guess…” Megan ran a hand over her face. “It’s all very confusing sometimes, especially when we try to explain it.”

 

“How many of you are there?” Justin asked curiously. “I mean there’s C, you, Damian obviously…”

 

“There’s twenty of us.”

 

“Can you fly?” AJ grinned impishly.

 

Megan cleared her throat, JC and Damian exchanged sheepish looks with each other, AJ and Justin put aside their animosity long enough to grin at each other, Nick just petted JC’s wings.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes, how many people saw you?”

 

“It wasn’t so much people as… well… The National Enquirer… You couldn’t really see anything and no one figured out it was us so…” came from JC in a rush.

 

“There was supposed to be cloud cover,” Damian said defensively.

 

“Weather forecasts are a wonderful thing,” Megan smirked, a break in her dour expression before it returned.

 

“Like the weatherman can be trusted. How many days now has he said that it’s going to rain?” JC that time, his tone just as defensive as Damian’s. Justin had a feeling that this wasn’t the first time they’d had this particular argument.

 

“How long have you known?” this from Nick who was still touching JC’s wing although he had turned his body to face Megan.

 

Megan swallowed once. “I, we’ve always known,” she whispered.

 

“You should have told me…”

 

“Nick…”

 

“You should have trusted me enough to tell me the truth, I would never hurt you. Not ever, I thought you knew that.”

 

“I do know that… but there’s stuff you don’t know, things… I just… it was easier this way.”

 

“Easier? Did you ever trust me at all?” Nick asked, eyes narrowing as he studied her.

 

“Nick,” JC’s voice was quiet but forceful and the hands on him all fell away as he stood. Drawing a deep breath the air shimmered once more and the wings and armor vanished. Justin idly wondered if there would ever come a day where he would be less amazed at them.

 

Then he wondered where exactly they went to. Did they go into JC? Or did they go someplace else? Did JC even know?

 

“It’s a valid question JC.”

 

“It’s not a point of trust, not for Megan…” the sound of two beepers going off interrupted him and JC’s eyes flew to Megan and Damian who were both reaching for the ones attached to their belts. A raised eyebrow from Damian had him responding with a “kitchen, charging,” Justin smiling even as he felt a deep sense of foreboding when they both frowned in unison.

 

“What is it?” Justin asked as he smoothly came to his feet. AJ right behind him.

 

“Sarah…” Megan’s frown deepened.

 

“I can go,” Damian offered. Megan’s eyes rose and met Nick’s, taking in his darkened expression. Justin knew somehow that she was wondering if she gave him time to cool off if they could talk around the fear that she felt without her having to actually give him answers.

 

“I can do it… she’s taking care of one of mine,” she muttered. Pager went back on her belt and she wrapped her arms around herself. “I should have gone in the first place.”

 

“Meggie,” Nick took a step forward, his face melting into sadness and worry. Justin wondered if he could feel the unease that was rolling off the Guardians. JC was gnawing on his bottom lip, a sure sign that something wasn’t right.

 

“I’ll be back,” she said abruptly, turning on her heel she fled the room. The front door slamming behind her and the five men all stared at each other as they heard her car start and leave.

 

She was wasting no time in fleeing the scene of the crime.

 

“What the fuck?” Nick swore.

 

“What was the page?” JC ignored him and focused on Damian.

 

“SOS from Sarah, could be just because she can’t talk but…” Damian shrugged, a motion that belied the obvious tension in the room.

 

“We shouldn’t have let her go alone,” JC grumbled.

 

“It’s not Sam, I don’t even think he’s here… it’s just something simple,” Damian’s eyes bored into JC’s, a thousand conversations being held in the space of a second.

 

Don’t be worried, if we’re worried it means we don’t trust her to take care of herself.

 

“Who’s Sam?” AJ asked quietly, a quick look at Nick showed that his stony countenance had once more returned.

 

Sam, a he… Megan afraid of him, somehow Nick had added bits and pieces and ended up with the truth of the situation.

 

Whoever Sam was he was the one that had hurt Megan. Either in the current world or the other one, if Justin had been asked he would have laid even money on the other one.

 

“I want to know what’s going on,” Nick stated. His tone brooking no disagreement, although the look that JC and Damian shared told everyone that they were going to.

 

“It’s really not our place to tell,” JC said softly.

 

“Tough, tell me anyway.”

 

“Nick…” JC sighed.

 

“Tell him,” Damian said quietly.

 

“Damian?”

 

“Tell him, he deserves to know. He’s not going to hurt her; if he was going to he would have already, she let him get close and he’s had plenty of opportunities, I think if he couldn’t be trusted we would know by now.”

 

JC dragged a hand through his hand, muttering what appeared to be curses… although not in English. Justin couldn’t place the words at all.

 

“It’s not pretty,” JC warned.

 

“It never is.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The Man had always been known to him as just that.

 

The Man.

 

The Man had a deep, dark voice and whenever he received a call to check on his progress he couldn’t decide whether to come or die.

 

Right now he wanted to die. He’d let one of the Guardians slip right through his fingers, he’d had her and lost her when she got spooked.

 

His life was going to suck because he knew punishment was on the horizon for this one.

 

“We do have a quota to meet,” The Man said quietly, his voice echoing over the phone line with power and darkness. It was exhilarating and he hoped this wasn’t the last time he heard it.

 

“Yes sir,” he said in a small voice.

 

“You have to find and identify, capture as many of the twenty as you can within the six months. We only have a small window of opportunity to do this, His attention is distracted right now, if it’s brought back to them before we’re complete he’ll protect them.”

 

“But they’re not important, they’re not Warriors, they’re not anything.”

 

“Don’t underestimate their importance in the scheme of things… He protects those that he’s put here. They were put here by Him to perform what he considers an important task.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Good… I think maybe I’ll send you assistance… someone to help you move things along a little bit,” The Man said musingly. He could almost hear the finger tapping as The Man thought. “I have just the person.”

 

“I can do this sir, I don’t need…”

 

“You’re running out of time, you’ve only located 17 of Guardians… I think someone to make sure you stay focused is just the thing you need. Don’t disappoint me.”

 

The Man’s voice was dark, thick… evil… he’d made a pact with the devil, with evil personified and he knew that he didn’t make massive progress within the next few weeks that his death would be horrible and painful and he’d probably suffer for quite some time.

 

******************************************************************************

 

He was waiting for her in the kitchen. She’d known when she’d fled the scene like a big old coward that the minute she returned someone would be waiting for her.

 

Not Nick, he’d distance himself until he calmed down.

 

But she knew that either JC or Damian would be waiting up to warn her that Nick knew everything.

 

She moved slowly around the kitchen, hyperaware of JC’s eyes following her every movement. A bottled water from the refrigerator, the deep swallow she took, the squeal of the chair being pulled away from the table, everything sounded loud to her ears.

 

Sitting across from him she wrapped her hands around the bottle and met his eyes unflinchingly. It was only a matter of time before he said something. Although the first words out of his mouth surprised her.

 

“How’s Sarah?” he asked quietly.

 

“Spooked,” she murmured.

 

“Sam?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then…” JC’s brows arched inquisitively. Guardians didn’t spook easily, they could normally take care of themselves.

 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, her nose wrinkling as she remembered her own confusion. “I felt it to when I met her… something was… off? It was very strange.”

 

“But not Sam.”

 

“No… something else… something worse I think,” their voices were equally soft and Megan’s eyes widened suddenly.

 

“Damian swept it with his bug thingamajig before he left… we’re clean.”

 

She closed her eyes momentarily, not surprised when she felt JC’s hands on hers. Support was lent back and forth between them, whenever one needed it the others were there. They’d been there for JC earlier, now he would be here for her.

 

“You told him.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Everything?”

 

“He deserved to know Meggie, he cares about you, loves you. By keeping it from him you were basically telling him that you didn’t trust him.”

 

“I trust Nick more than I trust almost anyone else in my life.”

 

“But?”

 

“I’m scared,” she admitted in a whisper. “I trusted Sam.”

 

“You had misgivings about telling him anything though, have you had those about Nick?”

 

“No… but that doesn’t mean anything. We’ve already pretty much determined that my judgment is impaired when it comes to that.”

 

“You trust Justin.”

 

“Because you trust him… speaking of… where is everyone? I thought for sure that I’d have a lineup to contend with when I got back.”

 

“They’re all sleeping, somewhere I desperately wish I was,” JC mumbled rubbing a hand over his face. It was only then that Megan noticed how tired he looked. For someone that got as much sleep as JC did he was forever looking like he needed a nap.

 

“So Justin’s?”

“Sleeping in a guestroom.”

 

“And AJ?”

 

“In our room,” JC frowned at her, suddenly concerned by the impish curiosity that was written all over face. Maybe it would have been better to have Nick wait up and get their confrontation over right away.

 

“You know…” Megan mused with a small grin. “You might have been better off putting them in the same room, your beds big enough they probably would never even have noticed each other.”

 

“Yeah until someone rolled over and tried to get frisky and one of them ended up in a pile of bruises on the bedroom floor. I can just hear the cops now,” JC shook his head.

 

“Hey at least this way you won’t have one or the other outside the bedroom door with a glass pressed to it trying to hear what’s going on inside.”

 

“You’re a freak you know that.”

 

“Takes one to know one,” Megan smirked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if AJ decides to put up video cameras though… you know ‘for safety’s sake’.” She made air quotes with her fingers, laughing at the expression on his face. Because she knew as well as he did that AJ would so do that.

 

“Please don’t put any thoughts into his head.”

 

“Oh honey they’re probably already there… so where are you sleeping this fine,” quick glance at her watch, “morning?”

 

“I’m sleeping in my room…”

 

“With AJ.”

 

“Yes, because AJ and I share a room and a bed and have been for years.”

 

“And you think Justin’s going to be okay with this?”

 

“We’re not going to be making porn, we’re going to be sleeping… because you know in case you’ve forgotten we have rehearsal in oh say four hours,” JC grumbled with an arched brow.

 

“Haven’t forgotten, and coffee’s a wonderful thing. I just think you’re underestimating the depth of what Justin’s anger is going to be if he thinks you’ve chosen AJ.”

 

“I haven’t chosen anybody, and in case you’ve forgotten I’m not going to choose between them.”

 

“JC look at this from the way Justin is going to be. You let him stay here yes; but you also sent him to a guestroom and then went to bed with AJ…”

 

“It’s my room and it’s only to sleep.”

 

“It won’t matter, just think about it,” she advised softly. “Until the three of you come to an understanding any amount of affection you show one and not the other is going to be seen as a sign by the other that you’ve made your choice.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

“And on that note, I’m going to bed.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Nick had been staring at the ceiling seemingly for hours waiting. There wasn’t even anything remotely interesting, like waterspots or tiles that he could stare at and play pseudo-psychiatrist.

 

He could count the number of times he’d slept alone on one hand, he’d become spoiled since he and Meggie had been together. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to sleep alone again ever.

 

The few occasions that he’d had to, three of those five times being when the Boys and the Guardians tours unfortunately overlapped and they’d been on the road, he’d ended up curling up with either AJ or Brian.

 

Leigh had hated him.

 

He’d heard her car pull in, heard the door open and when Megan didn’t immediately appear in the door to their room he crawled out of his warm, lonely bed and crept quietly to the top of the stairs. He’d heard JC wandering, knew that while the male was waiting for Megan’s return his insomnia could most likely be attributed to the fact that AJ and Justin both knew about each other and him.

 

Sitting on the top step he released a deep breath, he hadn’t even realized that he’d been scared until the quiet rumble of JC and Megan in conversation released some unknown tension within him.

 

He hoped this wasn’t a sign that he was going to be overly clingy until whatever danger had popped up passed.

 

Resting his head on the banister he waited, listening for the moment when the sound of their conversation lulled and one or both of them would make their way up to the stairs.

 

He wanted to talk about all this new knowledge that he’d acquired.

 

He wanted to ask questions and determine what his role would be in this new world.

 

He wanted to know what he’d been like in the other one.

 

Normally there would be people that he felt comfortable spilling his guts to, sharing his secrets… people that he felt comfortable showing even the tiniest bit of weakness because he knew that it wouldn’t be used against him.

 

But running down that list he could see that he had no options left to him.

 

Maybe he should keep a journal?

 

Megan was out strictly because after hearing about her life in the other world he didn’t want to burden her with his doubts. His questions yes, his fears no. She was a Guardian, an angel and was he good enough for someone that would always be inherently good?

 

AJ and Justin were a bit distracted, by each other and by JC.

 

And Brian was out strictly because he didn’t know and it wasn’t Nick’s place to tell him anything that had been cleared by the others.

 

This was JC and Megan’s secret to share, not his.

 

He opened his eyes when he heard the soft steps on the stairs. Megan staring down at him a wary look on her face.

 

How had she put up with some of his more questionable antics after everything that she’d been through? Why had she put up with it?

 

“We didn’t know until just recently, we all made the transition with our memories intact… well except for JC.”

 

“How long?”

 

“This world?” she asked moving up another step and sitting beside him, not to close, as if she was unsure of her welcome. He nodded and she gnawed on her lip. “This world is about four days old.”

 

“Four days,” Nick closed his eyes sighing. “But I remember…”

 

“The night of the concert…”

 

“JC’s headache…”

 

“JC didn’t come through with his memories intact; the headaches were those memories pushing through.”

 

“How…?” Nick’s voice was quiet, he knew, he’d heard JC say it, Justin say it. Damian had repeated it numerous times as had AJ as he’d tried to understand. But Nick wanted to hear the words spoken by Megan.

 

“This world veered from the wish that Justin made, from the exact moment that he made it. He wished that he’d never called JC to ask him to join his band, when the reality shifted everything up to that point, to the moment that Justin would have called JC, happened. Then realities shifted, the other world fell away and this one was created in its place… probably only about three hundred people in total were affected by the wish.”

 

“God… Does this happen every time someone does that? Every time someone makes a wish the world changes, lives change and no one even notices?”

 

“There’s us,” Megan murmured. “To be honest I’m not even sure why Justin still remembers, normally they don’t. Normally their life just picks up where the wish leaves them.”

 

“Maybe because Justin was an idiot and he needs to know what he did so he can undo it,” Nick snorted.

 

“It can’t be undone… And I can’t say I’m sorry that it can’t.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Nick said softly, he touched her hand gently. A whisper of a caress, as if he was afraid that she was going to turn away from him. Instead she shifted her hand, palm up and captured his tightly.

 

“It’s not your fault.”

 

“I…” Nick laughed harshly. “I know its not… I don’t even know why I feel like this. Why I feel like I’m the one to blame but… Justin’s an idiot he threw away what he had with JC because he was angry but… but I feel like I should be thanking him or something because he saved you.”

 

Megan shifted closer to him, their legs pressed together as she laid her head on his shoulder. “Life goes on Nick. You are not to blame for what someone else did to me.”

 

“But you thought that was how I was going to react, you told someone you trusted and they turned on you and you… you thought that I was going to do what that… jerk did to you.”

 

“I didn’t, I just…” Megan tensed slightly, relaxing as his arm went around her shoulders. “Those wounds, they’re still there, the pain, the… fear… sometimes I can’t escape it.”

 

“I’ll help you however I can.”

 

“I know… you already do. You already have… more than you know.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

JC turned over onto his side cursing the uncomfortable couch under his breath. First thing in the morning, well first thing after he returned from rehearsal he was buying a new couch.

 

And he’d test this one. That way if he was going to have to sleep on it until he figured out what he was going to do about AJ and Justin he’d at least have something that wasn’t attempting to kill him.

 

Megan and Nick had disappeared into their room after a quiet conversation on the stairs. He’d waited until they were done, padding in bare feet up the steps. Looking first in on Justin, a soft kiss to his forehead, combing his fingers through the once more curly mop that Justin abhorred. Reassuring himself that he was safe.

 

Then he did the same to AJ. Taking comfort in being able to touch both of them, taking comfort in the fact that they were all still safe.

 

Megan and Sarah were both spooked which in turn had spooked both he and Damian.

 

Sighing he stared at the dark TV blankly.

 

Of all the realities that Justin could have chosen to ‘create’ why couldn’t he have chosen one that didn’t still have people that wanted to destroy them?

 

******************************************************************************

 

AJ could sense him watching, Justin a quiet presence in the doorway as AJ studiously ignored him.

 

“JC’s gone to rehearsal,” he stated, resolutely not turning even though he’d had enough of Timberlake standing there staring at him.

 

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Justin’s voice was soft and AJ was once more reminded that this wasn’t the Justin Timberlake that he’d been dealing with for the past couple of years.

 

This one still wanted to steal JC from him, but this one also had a right to want to do so whereas the other one had been spoiled and just wanted something that he’d been told that he couldn’t have.

 

Back stiffening AJ slowly turned to him. “So what? You were looking for me?” eyebrows arched in query and whereas the old Justin would have stammered and flushed this one just arched his own brow crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“I think we should talk.”

 

“About what?”

 

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes and AJ bit back the smile that threatened to escape. He was frustrated but now he could see that Justin was as well. It hadn’t escaped his notice that JC had slept on the couch and had foregone sleeping wrapped around either male and instead had chosen to sleep alone.

 

That meant that when JC returned he would be cranky and irritable, the couch was uncomfortable and he wasn’t used to sleeping alone.

 

“I think we should talk about what we’re going to do about JC.”

 

“I’m taking this to mean that you’re not going to be the gracious loser and back off?”

 

“Uh no… because I’m not gracious and I’m not a loser and I think I have a solution that will work for both of us.”

 

“Really?” AJ asked doubtfully as he unconsciously took a step back, Justin was eyeing him appraisingly. And if the younger man’s thoughts were anything like AJ’s had been for the last ten hours… well it would solve all their problems but he certainly didn’t have to like that gleam in Justin’s eyes. He’d only ever seen it on JC’s right after they’d been separated for more than a two days and didn’t know how he felt about someone else looking at him like that.

 

“Oh yeah… and I think we’ll all benefit from it.”

 

Oh he was not going to like this at all.

 

******************************************************************************

 

JC wondered if he should be worried about the way the two most important people in his life were staring at him expectantly. Waiting for him to say something.

 

He hmmed for a second as he tried to think of something intelligent to say in light of the proposal that the other two had just dropped in his lap. Nope, brain temporarily off line, so failing that he managed a vague, “What?”

 

Okay now he knew he should be worried. The look of wry amusement that the two men, who last time he’d checked as of seven that morning had hated each other, warned him of that.

 

He knew he shouldn’t have left them alone together. Justin had still been asleep but he’d kissed AJ goodbye, waving at Nick as Megan was dragging him out the door. Besides at the time he’d been more concerned about returning home to find dead bodies, police waiting… at no time during the hours spent away had he imagined that he’d return home to find Justin and AJ quietly conversing in the living room under some strange new alliance that he obviously didn’t understand.

 

He’d studied them intently. No new bruises, no new bloodshed.

 

He should have backed out of the room immediately. Would have if Megan hadn’t grinned at him in amusement and pushed him forward with a bright “hello” on her part.

 

She was getting way to much amusement out of this, and at this rate Nick might come home to find her dead.

 

He’d been on the receiving end of Justin’s ‘come hither’ looks and inviting body posture before, as well as AJ’s. He’d just never in his wildest, okay sometimes wildest but not normal, dreams had he’d ever imagined them being directed at the AJ and not him.

 

What the hell had gone on while he’d been gone?! Another look exchanged between the men had him seriously contemplating diving out the window.

 

He had wings; he already knew he could fly.

 

“C?” Justin’s voice was quiet, amusement still on his face.

 

“What?” he repeated dumbly. Because Justin and AJ had not just proposed what he’d thought he’d heard them proposing. They had not been speaking over each other, each gesticulating wildly as the disbelief on JC’s face had grown, both anxious to get their proposal out.

 

And they had most certainly not proposed that the three of them were going to be in one relationship.

 

Together.

 

Sharing he might have been able to understand. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, splitting Sunday’s. He’d sort of been expecting that.

 

But the three of them in one relationship together? In one bed together? In one house together?

 

Justin and AJ would kill each other within a week. If he didn’t kill one them within a day.

 

The only other possible solution was that in the eight hours that he’d been gone they’d managed to both go insane. He made a mental note to have Megan test the water.

 

“We’re not kidding,” AJ smirked. “And we’re not crazy.” With a glance at Justin he moved forward, kneeling before where they had seated JC on his, he guessed now their bed. Touching his legs gently he looked up at him.

 

“I didn’t...”

 

“We know how your mind works C,” Justin was still amused. “Besides your face…open book man.”

 

“This will never work.”

 

“Well not with that attitude it won’t,” Justin commented, he shook his head moving forward now. Sitting next to JC on the bed he laid a hand on his thigh. Squeezing lightly before he relaxed. JC knew it was a reminder, I’m still here, I still love you. Justin had done it all the time… before. When they couldn’t talk and to much touching would have gave them away.

 

Then Justin’s eyes lifted to meet AJ’s for a moment, and JC could feel something unspoken pass between them. If he shifted, allowing his wings and armor to come forward he could probably see it it was so strong.

 

“You guys’ll kill each other.”

 

“Justin and I have a vested interest in keeping the peace.”

 

“Why because if you don’t I leave you both?”

 

“No because if one of us kills the other, one of us will be dead, the other will be in prison and you’ll be alone and defenseless.”

 

“Oh…” JC winced when he heard the underlying tension in Justin’s words. “I won’t ever be alone or defenseless.”

 

“JC you can’t protect yourself,” AJ smirked and okay Justin and he had been talking because AJ looked way too amused and Justin looked way to cheerful.

 

“You’d be surprised what I can do when I put my mind to it,” JC muttered defensively. Where was Megan or Nick when you needed a good comeback?

 

“Doubtful.”

 

“And we know you’ll have Megan and Damian and Sarah and god knows who else right there with you but…”

 

“We’d feel better if we were the ones protecting you,” Justin smiled brightly. “We even promise to be on our best behavior.”

 

“And we’ve already decided that we’ll only try to kill each other on the basketball court.”

 

“Or make it look like an accident so no one goes to prison.”

 

“That makes me feel so much better.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Nick knew that he couldn’t pull off the menacing look very good. After a short time where he’d insisted he could pull it off and had only had people in hysterics he’d finally accepted his own shortcomings.

 

That had been a long time ago and he and everyone else had known for quite some time that for menacing, glaring looks AJ and Kevin were the only people to be called. They could both be viciously cruel without ever saying a word. A raised brow and thinned lip glare from Kevin had once made a reporter cry.

 

All of this meant that when Brian had called him that morning and wanted him to be the one there to glare at Leigh as she was packing up some of her stuff he’d been slightly surprised that was for sure.

 

He might have babbled for a minute as he tried to figure out what Brian was up to. Did he want Leigh to laugh herself into hysterics and therefore not take everything Brian had been working for years for?

 

Then he had figured it out.

 

Leigh hated him. Always had hated him although she’d never been able to explain why satisfactorily to either Brian or anyone else. He thought it might have something to do with the fact that Brian told him stuff that he never told her.

 

So here he was standing in his best friends house watching said best friends wife pick through every single item that they owned.

 

He wanted to sigh, wanted to glance at his watch, he wanted to be doing anything besides standing behind Brian. AJ and Justin needed a referee and here he was arms crossed over his chest, face fixed into the most menacing expression that he could manage (he was using a Kevin as his inspiration). Every time Leigh would try to pack something and Brian would sigh heavily, most likely rolling his eyes though Nick couldn’t see, he would in turn glare and clear his throat and Leigh would put whatever item it was down and move on.

 

Scowling and muttering under her breath the whole way.

 

He sincerely hoped that he sounded menacing and not like someone with an extreme phlegm problem.

 

When Leigh and the girlfriend that she’d brought with her left with their two boxes of packed possessions Brian closed the door behind them leaning on it heavily.

 

Nick did finally sigh and rolled his shoulders as he watched his best friend carefully.

 

He figured that he’d need to work on the menacing thing more, because keeping his posture rigid and unforgiving had seemed to cause him to pull a muscle in his back and that never seemed to happen to Kevin or AJ.

 

“You okay?” he rested his shoulder on the wall, touching Brian’s shoulder gently. He’d hated Leigh yeah, but Brian had loved her and this had to have come as the blow from hell.

 

Brian believed in goodness and light, he believed that every person deserved love and a chance.

 

He believed in God and went to Church every Sunday. If there was one person that would believe in Angels and Guardians and Heaven on Earth it would be Brian.

 

Nick was dying to tell him about the angels within their midst. To prove that Brian’s faith wasn’t misplaced or wrong.

 

Although… Megan and JC were probably the most un-religious people that he’d ever met. Brian was never going to believe him. Which meant that he’d have to convince one of the Guardians to show him. To effectively come out to him.

 

He barely suppressed the snicker.

 

Somehow he was going to have to convince Megan or JC to show them wings and armor, if there was one person that would never betray them it would be Brian. Especially since Brian was going to need something new to believe in now that he didn’t have true love and love at first sight and the sanctity of marriage to fall back on. His faith in the almighty would probably do it.

 

“I didn’t think it was going to be this hard,” Brian’s voice was soft, eyes screwed tightly closed sot that tears wouldn’t escape.

 

“Brian…”

 

“I think I would have forgiven her anything… if she’d wanted it.”

 

“She didn’t deserve you.”

 

“Then what do I deserve Nick? Because Leigh was everything that I wanted, that I needed… we were planning on starting a family now that this tours done.”

 

“Brian,” Nick’s heart broke at the anguish in his friends voice. He definitely couldn’t leave him alone like this, not that he thought Brian was the suicidal type but stranger things had happened to him recently. “You’re not staying here,” he stated emphatically.

 

“This is my home.”

 

“You need some time away from it, to deal with everything that’s happening… come stay at the house with us for a few days.”

 

“Nick, no…” Brian shook his head. “Megan and JC are almost off tour, you and AJ don’t need someone running around the house underfoot.”

 

“Why not? We’ve already got Justin there all the time, hell he’s probably moved in by now and no ones paged me,” Nick waved his hand at Brian’s confused eyes. “It’s a long story and probably one that JC or AJ would be better off telling you.

 

“You and Megan need time alone.”

 

“We’ll have plenty of time alone… besides Megan adores you and you know it. If you hadn’t been married when I met her she would probably have chased after you instead.”

 

“Nick!” he smiled at Brian’s scandalized look. It was good to know that Leigh hadn’t totally destroyed his belief in love.

 

“Pack a bag, come stay with us… we’ll watch JC go insane and AJ and Justin try not to kill each other. If nothing else it’ll be great entertainment for when there’s nothing on TV.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

He’d been expecting her for hours. This female that The Man was sending to help him because he’d failed. The Man hadn’t called back and he’d been unable to contact him through conventional means to try and press his case.

 

He cursed that which had caused him to make this agreement in the first place. His life was no longer his own. Now he spent his entire time hunting down and trying to destroy Guardian’s.

 

Those sent to protect and help, His most faithful servants. They weren’t even warriors, they carried armor but no weapons.

 

Hunting them was like hunting a prey with no means to defend themselves. He knew they weren’t defenseless they had weapons at their disposal that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. If one of them raised the alarm He would send them help in the form of Archangels.

 

Warriors clad with swords and he certainly didn’t want to have to deal with them. They’d strike him down and destroy him and his entire line in a second for even thinking about hurting any Guardian.

 

He could be harsh like that. He could afford to be.

 

He briefly wondered how the other one had managed to pull it off, how he’d managed to get a Guardian to not only unmask herself but managed to keep her so off kilter that she had been unable to call for help. To call those to her that would avenge her and destroy her tormentor.

 

He banished that thought immediately. She hadn’t done that because even as she was being tortured she had known that she would be rescued. He didn’t think she had envisioned the creation of a new world as her saving grace.

 

He wondered what she had done when she realized what had happened. What all of them had done, it had to have been sudden. How long were they disoriented before they found their pillars of strength? He obviously had no luck because if he had he would have found them when they were weak and off balance.

 

“You must have failed very badly in order for me to be sent for,” the voice came from the doorway and his eyes darted quickly to the woman, girl standing there.

A beautiful girl, The Man couldn’t have sent someone hideously ugly to oversee his downfall?

 

“I don’t need any help,” he protested weakly as he came to his feet.

 

“Hmm…” she moved slowly into the room, closing the door softly behind her. Drawing fingers over shelves and furniture as she moved in no particular fashion toward him. Stopping beside him she raised a hand to pull his face in her direction. “My employer thinks otherwise…” her breath danced over his skin and he shuddered slightly. Stealing himself against her because her voice had the same effect as The Man’s voice and he was instantly aroused and definitely confused.

 

“I don’t…”

 

“Don’t think,” her finger tapped his forehead, her eyes narrowing. “He’s most disappointed in you, most disappointed in your progress… I’m here to speed things up.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Brian didn’t want to know what went on in the McClean/Chasez/Carter/Richards residence when he wasn’t there. The atmosphere of the house was normally free-spirited, full of laughter and love.

 

But in recent recollection he couldn’t remember it ever having been full of this much love.

 

In the time since AJ and JC had been together he’d gotten used to the barely repressed contempt that AJ exhibited when he watched Justin interact with JC with narrowed eyes. JC for his part had normally tried to keep the peace. Paying as much attention to Justin as he could without pissing AJ off to the extreme where he was actually plotting ways to kill the younger male.

 

But tonight. Brian kept forgetting to eat as he watched the interplay between the three males, four if he counted Nick.

 

JC was steadfastly ignoring both of them. He had foregone his usual chair next to AJ and was sitting sandwiched between Brian and Megan, head bent as he and Megan carried on a quiet conversation attempting to determine the appropriate action that should be taken in accordance with Sarah’s absence at two concerts.

 

AJ alternated between watching JC with concern and eyeing Justin with what Brian could only call a predatorial air. If he didn’t know AJ as well as he did he would have thought that AJ was undressing Justin with his eyes.

 

Which couldn’t be right because the last he’d heard there’d been a hit… that might have been cancelled but still…

 

Although Justin wasn’t much better. His eyes were hungry as they stared at JC… and AJ. And AJ was doing nothing to dissuade the younger male, what he’d done with his fork was probably considered illegal in some countries

 

Then there was Nick, Megan was managing to quite successfully ignore the fact that he was hovering. He was on the opposite side of the table and was doing it quite well.

 

But the interaction between JC, AJ and Justin was what was really drawing his attention. All three of them were way too aware of each other, the whole room was drowning in sexual tension and there was no way in hell that Brian was spending the night in this house.

 

Regardless of the fact that they were in different wings… AJ was loud on a good day.

 

Something had changed within the house over the last two days. And whatever that something was it had changed the dynamic of the relationship between JC, AJ and Justin.

 

And that right there freaked him out just a little bit.

 

He’d been fine with AJ, the consummate womanizer announcing pretty much out of the blue that yes he was indeed gay, and that he’d been in a steady semi-monogamous relationship with JC for years. He could honestly say that the only reason he been thrown by the announcement was that fact that in all the years that he’d known AJ he’d never seen AJ so much as look at another man.

 

Not even JC.

 

He’d also been fine with Nick moving in with Megan, the four of them sharing a house. He knew that Nick and Megan were not chaste and that they were most likely sleeping together.

 

But after years as friends he knew that Nick and AJ would listen to him, to his opinions and then proceed to do whatever they wanted. They were both headstrong in their own way.

 

He loved them for that. For their strength of character and convictions.

 

He just had to wonder if they knew what they were doing.

 

******************************************************************************

 

JC knew the foot tapping wasn’t fooling anyone.

 

Megan had glared at him twice, between looking worried and probably silently measuring him for a straight jacket.

 

Damian had cleared his throat twice over the speaker phone and was about a half a second away from asking him for the third time if he was okay.

 

The only reason that Sarah hadn’t joined in with the other two was the fact that she had no voice. Which he guess sort of ruined the whole her being on the other end of one of the lines, he could feel her solid presence there though. And he could feel her nervousness still.

 

He glanced at the clock in the corner of the room and went back to tapping his foot, alternating between that and bouncing a pencil on the table.

 

Upstairs Justin and AJ had either killed each other or were trying their damnedest to prove that this was going to work. Since no screams (and both of them could raise the dead when they wanted to) had echoed through the house, in fact no noise at all had been heard he was going to towards the latter.

 

This was going to be the thing that killed him he was sure.

 

Right at this moment they were either sitting side by side silently on the couch utterly focused on the TV to keep from having to talk to one another or… they had gone to bed. To prove that they could share a bed without bruised egos coming into play.

 

“JC,” Megan hissed with narrowed eyes once everyone had hung up.

 

“What?”

 

“Were you even listening when we were discussing the next course of action?”

 

“Of course,” JC replied automatically.

 

“Then what did we talk about?” Megan asked, brows arched, arms crossing over her chest.

 

“Um… well…” JC shrunk into his chair a little, why didn’t the floor ever open up and swallow people when they really wanted it?

 

“JC, JC, JC,” Megan tsked as she shook her head.

 

“Okay so I was slightly distracted.”

 

“Slightly? You agreed with Damian when he suggested Cassie to replace Sarah until her voice comes back.”

 

“I did not.”

 

“Yes, you did.”

 

“But… but she can’t carry a tune,” JC sputtered eyes wide as he stared at the phone. He could call Damian back and say he changed his mind but then that would be the sign that he hadn’t been paying any attention whatsoever to the conversation they were having.

 

“She’s in the band for a reason, she can carry a tune… she’s just not as strong vocally as Sarah is… and don’t worry, I vetoed that idea right away. Jess is going temporarily take over for Sarah until…”

 

“Until she gets her voice back. Thank you,” JC closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath to force himself to relax.

 

“You want to tell me what’s going on?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Right,” Megan’s voice was laced with disbelief and he cracked his eyes to see the same disbelief etched one her face.

 

“It’s a long story,” he tried.

 

“I’m not blind JC, regardless of what some people might think. I saw Justin staring at AJ like he was dessert and AJ was doing nothing to dissuade him… as a matter of fact that fork thing happened when he was staring at Justin. So you can either tell me, or I’ll just assume that the way that I’m reading the situation is correct and Justin and AJ have decided to share you together as opposed to flopping days.”

 

“I hate it when you do that,” JC sighed running a hand through his hair.

 

“I know,” she said with a small measure of commiseration. “So spill… unless I’m right in which case don’t spill because that’s going to be way to much information and I won’t be able to tell Nick that I don’t know when he asks me.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

The room was quiet, although Justin could tell that AJ was not asleep in the bed next to him neither said a word.

 

They were proving a point, that they could share a bed, share JC and not kill each other. It would be easier to prove the point if JC were in fact in the room with them. Unfortunately he wasn’t and neither him or AJ could stomach sitting in the living room watching TV and avoiding each other.

 

If this was going to work they would need to find some kind of common ground. Something besides JC because that was only going to take them so far. And JC wouldn’t put up with being the buffer between them for very long.

 

Rolling onto his side he shoved his hand under the pillow and sighed. He was bone tired; felt like he could probably sleep for a week but without JC there he didn’t feel comfortable doing that. Opening his eyes he saw AJ staring at him and on the tip of his tongue was a snide comment that he bit back.

 

Couldn’t prove to JC that he and AJ could get along if AJ kicked him out of the bed on the first night.

 

“They should be done soon,” AJ’s voice was whisper soft and husky… the sound of it sent a tingle down Justin’s spine and in his mind he thought that this might not be so bad. His body wasn’t averse to having sex with AJ… it just preferred that JC be present for it.

 

“Why…”

“Sarah,” AJ frowned a look of quiet contemplation crossing his face. “You know who Sarah is right?”

 

“There’s a poster in my, the other Justin’s room… Sarah’s Damian’s partner?” he murmured waiting expectantly for confirmation that he was correct.

 

“Yeah… anyway she lost her voice.”

 

“Lost her voice? How the hell’d she manage that?”

 

“I don’t even want to know,” AJ smirked shifting slightly. “That’s what they’re handling, finding a replacement for her for two shows.”

 

The sound of soft footsteps outside the room cut off the comment that he was going to make and AJ flopped down on his back and both of them stared at the door expectantly. JC opened it slowly, the lights illuminating the hallway shadowing him as he entered, closing the door behind him. He moved slowly around the room, shedding his clothes as he went. Stopping at the foot of the bed he stared silently at the two men who stared back at him.

 

“You okay?” AJ’s voice was still soft and husky.

 

“Yeah,” JC’s voice was tired, and Justin wondered what exactly he’d been doing locked in his office with Megan.

 

“Come lay down with us C,” Justin patted the expanse of bed between him and AJ.

 

“I don’t…” JC started, AJ cutting him off with a stern voice.

 

“Lay down with us JC, we promise to not molest you.”

 

“We do?” Justin said with a small smirk. JC just sighed heavily and crawled up the middle of the bed, settling on his back between them. AJ and Justin each moving closer to him so they could touch him.

 

“This isn’t going to work,” JC said softly.

 

Justin pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder, then raised his head to kiss JC’s lips. Laying his head on his shoulder he watched AJ turn JC’s head so that he could kiss him and then lay his head on JC’s other shoulder.

 

“Give us a chance.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Morning came with a rush of light and Justin groaned, snuggling deeper back into the arms that were around him.

 

So it had all been a horrible dream. He could feel JC hard against him, and that was normal but the boxers between them were unusual. They both slept nude… even when fighting.

 

JC’s head was pressed against his back, between his shoulder blades and he could periodically feel JC’s lips move as he mumbled in his sleep.

 

Justin smiled, staring at the rising sun. Closing his eyes he let himself drowse in the comfort. He was warm and safe and JC was holding one hand tightly, caressing his stomach and stroking his hip lightly.

 

His eyes snapped open then when he realized that didn’t compute, three hands were touching him and unless JC had grown another arm when he wasn’t looking…

 

Craning his head around he saw that during the night yes… JC had wrapped himself tightly around Justin, his head settled in the middle of Justin’s back. But behind him AJ had wrapped his own limbs around JC, and while JC was holding his hand and touching his stomach… AJ’s hand was the one currently roaming between JC’s hip to Justin’s.

 

He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.

 

Yes they had made the decision to share JC, and that would ultimately end up meaning sharing themselves, he just wasn’t sure he was quite ready to take this new three-way relationship to the next level.

 

He met AJ’s half-open eyes over JC’s frame and despite the bouts plaguing Justin’s mind they exchanged sleepy smiles before AJ’s eyes closed. His hand remaining where it had ended up, on Justin’s hip.

 

Well if AJ could be all calm and nonchalant about this…

 

Justin managed to disentangle himself and turned in JC’s embrace. Kissing his chin softly before he wrapped his arms around both JC and AJ at once.

 

He kept his eyes open, he wasn’t really tired and he’d learned early in their relationship that the only time he could study JC was when he was asleep. When he was awake he was almost hyperly active, continuously moving. If he stayed still, just stared JC would sleep through it, if he reached out to touch him like he wanted, stroked his cheek like he craved he would wake… since it had been days since he’d last had the right to touch him, let alone been close enough to do so Justin traced his high cheekbones with one gentle finger.

 

JC’s eyes slowly opening… blinking at him with tired, happy eyes and Justin smiled back. He could feel the relief throughout his entire body. It had been a long time since JC had looked that happy to see him, he knew part of it was that JC was still semi-asleep but part of it had to be because of him… and AJ.

 

AJ who was doing something to make JC make that purring noise in the back of his throat, although from where he was laying Justin couldn’t make it out. But JC’s eyes were closing again, his arms tightening reflexively around Justin, then releasing along with a sigh.

 

“Morning,” Justin murmured. If AJ could play so could he… Leaning forward he licked JC’s neck, one long glide from collarbone up to his chin, nipping ever so gently on the flesh he grinned as JC made a half-groan, half-moaning sound.

 

JC arched, pushing between them as Justin’s hand came down to cup him.

 

He loved touching JC, loved watching him come alive under his hands and mouth. The fact that AJ was there, stroking skin that he seemed really familiar with mattered less and less as JC writhed between them.

 

Pulling him into the line of his body Justin smiled as JC’s lips sought his, tongues twining together with easy familiarity and passion. If he were to forget everything tomorrow he was positive that some remnant of his love for JC would remain, of that Justin was sure.

 

JC pulled away from his with a gasp, one hand keeping Justin close, the other reaching behind him to touch AJ, to pull him closer.

 

“You’re working for the bad guys aren’t you?” JC’s voice was breathless, filled with unspeakable joy.

 

“Why do you say that?” Behind him AJ nipped at the skin on the back of his neck, dragging his tongue along it to soothe.  In front Justin stroked his face, running his thumb over his eyes, his nose, his lips.

 

“Because you guys are going to kill me.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin had never been backstage at a show that he wasn’t performing at. Watching The Guardians, JC included go through pre-concert rituals that didn’t include him, didn’t include the guys in any way, shape or form would probably take some getting used to.

 

As would seeing him in what was the standard uniform for The Guardians. There was no individuality at all. There was no JC in colorful garb complaining about rough lace rubbing in questionable areas, no Chris hanging off Joey or Lance’s back screeching at the top of his lungs, no hacky sack, no making out with JC in the quiet room minutes before they had to meet everyone.

 

He and AJ had been to see JC in the dressing room that Jace and Damian shared; they’d each kissed him quietly, both smiling at the low hum of energy rebounding from JC to Damian and back again. JC fed off the pre-concert energy that Damian provided in much the same way that he’d fed off the same energy when it had been Justin providing it.

 

He wouldn’t have left JC alone in that dressing room until minutes before show time but he’d had no say in the matter. After kisses from both AJ and Justin JC’s bodyguards had ushered them out, ignoring the scowl on Justin’s face.

 

“Relax,” AJ muttered under his breath as he to ignored the scowling face.

 

“He just…” Justin waved his hands in the air, “just kicked us out.”

 

“Look I don’t know what kind of pre-show rituals you all engaged in, but I have a feeling they’re not the same as the ones that JC engages in now.”

 

“It’s just not fair,” Justin pouted dramatically, “I’m normally up on that stage with him, singing with him, dancing… and now…”

 

“And now you’re nothing,” AJ finished for him. “This is the world you wanted Timberlake, the one you created. Deal with it,” with an arched brow AJ turned and walked a few feet away, beginning a quiet conversation with Kevin.

 

“This wasn’t quite the world I had in mind,” Justin muttered under his breath.

 

“So AJ called off the hounds,” the low voice chuckled beside him. Frown firmly in place he turned to the man standing to his side, he didn’t want to deal with any more people who knew that the kid he’d been before had been a jack ass and a half.

 

The frown faded when he saw Drew Lachey standing there a bemused smile on his face.

 

“Don’t worry Justin,” Drew patted his arm carefully. “You’ll just have to remember that you and AJ both have volatile tempers and that here he’s not going to put up with Prima Donna behavior, especially since you have no reason to exhibit it.”

 

“Wha…?” Justin managed to stutter out as he gaped. Because how the hell did Drew Lachey know anything about him and AJ and JC… unless…

 

“You’re a bright boy,” Drew patted him again and turned when he heard his voice being called.

 

Megan standing, hands on her hips mock-glaring at him at the entrance to the hallway to the dressing rooms.

 

“You were supposed to be here yesterday,” she scowled, a smile biting at the edge of her mouth as she walked over. A small smile for Justin before she hugged Drew tightly. Justin glanced over at Nick expecting to see him radiating jealousy and instead saw happiness.

 

“Had to delay,” Drew shrugged as Megan released him. “Where is everyone?”

 

“Getting ready,” Megan glanced around, a young security guard obviously having been waiting for her to notice him handed a pass to her and Drew hung it around his neck. “So why the delay?”

 

“Nick and Jeff wanted to come, Jessie’s off prepping some new movie and Nick was feeling at loose ends so… How’s Sarah?” Drew changed the subject. Obviously not wanting to discuss the reason behind Nick and Jeff’s presence at his side.

 

“She sounds like a frog,” Megan grinned. “Damian thinks we should have her croak on stage, maybe do a fairy tale theme or something.”

 

“You all are cruel, I’m glad I’m not in your band,” Drew shook his head and Megan smirked.

 

“We wouldn’t actually do it,” she laughed. “At least Damian wouldn’t, I think she’s got something really embarrassing on him or something. He caved so fast.”

 

Megan laughed again, blowing a kiss at Nick as she grabbed Drew’s hand and dragged him back to the dressing rooms.

 

“So Drew’s…” Justin made a flapping motion with his hands and Nick arched a brow at it before shrugging.

 

“I’m assuming yeah… somehow I don’t think we’re going to know who every one of them is…” Nick turned to look at the corridor that Drew and Megan had disappeared down. “Somehow I don’t think I want to know.”

 

“Hmm,” Justin murmured. “I think it might be safer for us if we don’t know.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Megan laughed, bouncing on the couch next to Nick. Next to her Drew was engaged in a quiet conversation with Brian.

 

Across the room JC was all smiles, his whole body vibrating with his after-concert high as he talked with Damian, AJ and Justin standing just off to the side of him. In about twenty minutes he would disappear with AJ and Justin in tow and wouldn’t be seen again for at least a day. At least she assumed he would disappear with both of them, he’d done it with AJ so…

 

She sincerely hoped that all three of them were getting what they needed from the relationship. She loved AJ and JC, and adored Justin… she didn’t want to see any of them get hurt.

 

A glanced around the room showed everyone smiling and energetic, a sudden frown appeared when she realized that Sarah wasn’t with the rest of the group. Leaning over she kissed Nick’s cheek, patting Drew’s hand.

 

“I’m going to find Sarah,” she said softly at his querying look. He nodded and she left quickly. Sarah had been down for most of the night, not being able to be on stage and sing her songs. Listening to Jess sing songs in a voice almost as strong and clear as hers had been hard on her. Megan wouldn’t blame her if she had found some out of the way corner to sulk in.

 

She probably would have done that. Of course she would have taken Nick with her so they could make out but Sarah didn’t have a Nick so she was probably alone sulking.

 

A prickle of unease caused her to stop in her tracks. A frown on her face as she scanned the area, the corridors were fairly well lit but she could swear that she felt darkness creeping in on her.

 

Drawing a deep breath she centered herself and reached out, trying to feel for Sarah through the bonds that bound them together as Guardians. They were all connected, some of them deeper than others but if they concentrated they could follow each line to one of their counterparts. It was the easiest way to make sure that everyone was hale and hearty.

 

Her frown deepened when she felt a wall where Sarah should have been. None of them erected barricades to keep the others out, Sarah must have been more upset than she’d thought.

 

Continuing down the hall she glanced in each room, finding them all open, all empty. The adjoining hallway was darker, a few lights out and shut doors. Soft taps on each one as she walked past them garnered no response.

 

She was wondering if she should go fetch one of the guys, the prickly of unease had returned and was now a full blown tremor. She hadn’t felt this scared since…

 

A whimper from behind the last door caught her attention finally. “Sarah?” she knocked again, silence this time and she ignored the part of her that told her to run far and fast. Sarah was one of her closest friends and if she was hurting then she would know that she at the very least always had Megan to count on.

 

“Sarah are you okay?” she turned the knob to the door and pushed it open slowly. Sarah was standing in the back of the room in the shadows and Megan breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Until she felt the door slam shut behind her and she whirled hand to her chest. Behind her she could feel Sarah moving and a glance over her shoulder had her backing up, hitting the shut door, hand reflexively moving for the knob that she knew wouldn’t work.

 

It hadn’t last time; she bit back the cry, the tears, the screams that threatened to escape.

 

Sarah’s eyes were already filled with tears, mouthing her apologies even as she was shoved forward further. A knife biting into the skin of her throat.

 

“Did you miss me?” the smile chilled her to the bones and she prayed for the others. Prayed like she’d never prayed before. His name a whisper on her lips.

 

“Sam.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin knew that something horrible had happened the minute that he could figure out who every Guardian in the room was.

 

All their conversations stopped, Justin and AJ exchanging confused looks as JC halted in his very steps toward the door. Eyes closed, noses lifted to the air as if they were trying to scent something and the growls that escaped their throats indicated that they’d been successful.

 

Then there was a flurry of movement, JC, Damian, Drew and some others heading towards the hallway that Megan and Sarah had both disappeared down earlier. The others making their way to exits. All movements synchronized without a word being spoken.

 

And Justin once more wondered about the telepathy thing. Because they were linked, however they wanted to term it.

 

“AJ call 911,” Damian shouted as he ran to keep up with JC who was quite literally flying down the hallway. Drew on his heels, Justin, AJ, Brian, the set of Nicks, Jeff… everyone that wasn’t still sitting stunned at the flurry of movement in the lounge.

 

“What’s going on?” Jeff managed to get out as they ran, Justin shrugged, behind him he could hear AJ frantically talking on the phone with the 911 operator. Not able to tell her anything because he didn’t know why he was calling. Just knew that they needed an ambulance, rattling off directions for the stadium.

 

He heard JC’s yell, Drew’s growl before he rounded the corner. Lying in the corner, crumpled, blood pooling around her still body was Sarah. Justin’s hand came up to his mouth as he gagged on the thick coppery scent of blood.

 

Was that what The Guardians had been scenting? Had they smelled the blood of their fallen teammate and knew or had it been something else?

 

Something more primal and deep. Something that joined JC with these people that Justin would never know.

 

JC was pulling Sarah into his arms, halting her frantic movements, holding her hands as Damian ripped part of his shirt to use as a makeshift bandage.

 

It was only after one glance around the room, at the noticeable fury on JC’s face, the worry that seemed to emanate from him that Justin realized that there was no sign of Megan.

 

She was gone.

 

But Sarah had seen, Sarah knew and the circle of people around her waited, their anger growing by seconds.

 

Her lips moved but no sound came and all eyes focused on her.

 

Waiting for the name.

 

Waiting to see who would need to be punished for this transgression.

 

When it came it was one syllable, three letters and the room was totally silent. Not a sound was a heard, not even the name.

 

Sam.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Megan struggled against the bonds that secured her. She recognized the table she was strapped to. Her blood was no longer staining its surface, no longer staining the floor around it because here she hadn’t already been tortured for days on end… but it was the same place that Sam had taken her before.

 

She hoped the others would realize this quickly.

 

She had winced every time he’d drawn the sharp edge of his blade down her skin; he insisted it was only to cut away her clothing so her wings wouldn’t destroy them when he forced them to appear. She knew it was because he was hoping that she would break like she had before.

 

To beg him to release her, to beg him to not hurt her.

 

She was not the same person that she’d been before, she had those memories, she remembered how weak she had been. She wouldn’t be that weak again. Not for him, not for anyone.

 

He was angry now she knew, which might actually kind of bad for her. He was furious that she had escaped him even though it wasn’t her doing, he was furious that he had to start all over again. That he’d lost all his previous notes and tapes.

 

She herself was kind of grateful, she was stronger now. Knowing JC, knowing Nick had made her that way and she certainly wasn’t going to dignify his mistreatment of her with a response.

 

She had not uttered a word since he’d taken her. She hadn’t even screamed when his knife had ‘slipped’ and he’d drawn a line of blood on her leg.

 

She hadn’t released her wings yet either which was making him even angrier. All she needed to do to focus her energy, to remain in control, was remember Sarah’s face as Sam had slammed his knife into her.

 

She was going to be as strong as Sarah had been; Sarah hadn’t made a sound, hadn’t even breathed when Sam had stabbed her.

 

Her mind knew that it was because Sarah couldn’t make a sound; her heart knew it was because Sarah was giving her strength to fight. To hold on as the others tried to free her.

 

She closed her eyes, drawing a deep calming breath. Like Sarah she would be silent, she wouldn’t make a sound as he strove to break her.

 

******************************************************************************

 

For the first time in years AJ was at a loss at how to deal with JC. He thought he’d been through all the moods that JC was capable of during their remembered years together.

 

It seemed he was wrong.

 

JC right now was so prickly and angry that for the first time he could recall he was actually afraid to approach him. Justin it seemed was feeling the same thing and both of them were trying to hover around him without making it appear as if they were doing so.

 

Of course it wasn’t just JC. All present Guardians’, the ones that were special anyway were pissed.

 

AJ had already tried to get JC (and by extension Damian) to change out of his costume, his shirt and pants were stained with Sarah’s blood. The red showing up as nothing more than dark splotches… but they all knew what it was.

 

The hospital was quiet now, security, both the Guardian’s and the Backstreet Boy’s, had enclosed them all within a small waiting room as they waited for word on Sarah’s condition.

 

The press was outside the front, circling like vultures. They’d descended almost seconds after they’d arrived at the hospital. The first room they’d been situated in had been bombarded with lights when reporters realized where they were. They’d been moved, the blinds had been drawn and now all was quiet.

 

Hours had passed, the police had been called and even as they were waiting he knew that every possible mode of locating Megan quickly was being utilized. That meant TV, radio and internet. For once AJ was glad that Brian and Howie had taken Nick in hand.

 

He didn’t think he could handle both JC’s pain and Nick’s at the same time.

 

A glance over at the couch showed a very close to catatonic Nick sitting sandwiched between Brian and Howie. Considering his current state AJ didn’t think there would be any way to stop Nick from performing some act of retribution.

 

That was if they could find where she was. Find the man that had taken her and thought nothing about stabbing Sarah.

 

Leaning his head back against the wall he closed his eyes. Justin was an unhappy presence at his side and AJ shared his unhappiness. They’d had a few short hours where he’d thought they might be able to make this work, that the three of them together could be happy.

 

Now he wasn’t so sure. Some horrible part of him, some pessimistic side that told him he didn’t deserve shit let alone both JC and Justin, was telling him that his momentary happiness was fleeting. Because he was pretty sure that after all this was over, if Megan was rescued or god forbid killed, that JC was going to pull away.

 

He’d say it was to protect them but they’d all know that it was to protect himself.

 

“We need to do something,” Justin hissed at him. His voice low, his lips didn’t even move. Across the room his friends were watching him worriedly. Joey and Lance sitting shoulder to shoulder on the floor, Chris sitting on the arm of the couch touching Howie’s shoulder every now and then.

 

Kevin had his phone to his ear, AJ didn’t know who he was calling but he would hate to be the one on the other end of the phone when Kevin had that expression on his face.

 

“I’m open to suggestions,” AJ muttered. Opening his eyes he glanced over at Justin, saw his own pain was mirrored on the younger males.

 

“He’s shutting us out,” Justin crossed his arms over his chest and they both looked over at where JC had just moments earlier had been standing flanked by Damian and Drew.

 

He was gone.

 

******************************************************************************

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” AJ raced through the corridors of the hallway. Justin by his side, his personal guard running along behind them.

 

Drew and Damian had split off and raced down another corridor. The rest of their group hopefully staying put within the room they’d been secluded in.

 

AJ wasn’t sure what they were going to do about the bodyguard behind them, he didn’t know about JC and he was almost positive that when they found him that JC was going to have very little control left.

 

He wouldn’t have gone outside on the bottom floor, not with all the reporters swarming the place. There was only one other place he could have gone.

 

AJ took the steps two at a time, pushing the door open he winced at the sound of the hinges creaking. Breathing a sigh of relief when he caught sight of JC standing at the edge of the roof. He waved a hand at his guard, indicating with his motions for him to stay at the door.

 

“JC,” Justin’s voice was calm, belying the distress that AJ knew he felt. He’d scared the hell out of them.

 

“We can’t die by conventional means,” JC didn’t turn to them. Just stared at whatever had caught his interest. And AJ had been right about his loss of control, he was flashing. His wings and armor alternating between his costume.

 

“JC,” Justin repeated, eyes wide.

 

“A bullet can’t kill us, a knife to the heart can’t do it… we can bleed to death though,” JC’s quiet voice barely carried on the wind and AJ had to strain to hear him. “That’s what almost happened last time. Before…” Before I granted Justin’s wish. “We could feel her, screaming, in pain… she didn’t understand, she begged for understanding…”

 

AJ closed his eyes momentarily, swallowing back the nausea when JC turned to them because there was blood on his white armor. Sarah’s lifeblood staining the purity of it.

 

“JC why don’t you just…” AJ gestured to himself, to Justin. Come to us, don’t leave us.

 

JC stayed still, didn’t move and AJ went to move forward. Even lifted his foot to take the step.

 

“Holy fuck,” AJ’s eyes went wide with alarm, so did Justin’s as they both whirled. Chris and Brian had obviously followed in an attempt to help and were now staring with shock at JC.

 

Chris had been the one that spoke; AJ figured this out because Brian seemed to have lost total control of his vocal cords and by extension his mouth. His mouth opened, then closed, then opened, then closed until finally he shook his head. Probably trying to shake out whatever delusion he thought had gotten stuck in there.

 

“It’s okay,” Justin said calmly, his entire being focused on JC he took the step that AJ had been meaning to. Stopping in front of him, touching his hand. Reaching out. “It’s okay.”

 

That left AJ to deal with Brian and Chris.

 

“Brian…” AJ started. Brian looked at him with a startled expression. “Brian. It’s okay.”

 

“You’re… he’s… what the…”

 

“You broke Brian,” Chris accused them tossing an arm over Brian’s shoulder. “It’s okay Brian, maybe if we just click our heels together three times we’ll go back home to auntie Em.”

 

“Abuse of sarcasm Chris,” Justin muttered keeping his eyes locked on JC, lest he try to dive over the side of the building. JC’d already admitted that he could fly; and while normally Justin would be all for actually seeing it he didn’t want to see it right then. His nerves were just a bit on edge and JC taking a header off the top of a building would probably send him into cardiac arrest.

 

“Well what the hell did you expect J?” Chris’ hand waved frantically in the air. “There’s a man standing there with fucking wings!!”

 

“Chris you need to calm down.”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do AJ,” Chris snarled. “You may lead Howie and the others around by the balls but you don’t lead me around by mine.”

 

Justin ignored him his hands reaching out for JC, not touching because JC backed away. “JC you need to calm down, you need to relax.”

 

“She’s scared,” JC whispered. “She’s so scared.”

 

“Megan?” Brian asked in disbelief. “Is he talking about Megan?”

 

“Baby you’re out of phase, you need to calm down.”

 

“This is how she showed you isn’t it?” JC asked softly, his eyes didn’t meet Justin’s instead focused on the clenching and unclenching of his hands. “Put herself out of phase so she could show you the truth.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, you didn’t do anything wrong,” AJ’s voice was emphatic and from the grateful look that Justin shot him he understood that they were of the same mind. Nothing that JC could have said would change what either of them felt for him.

 

“I should have told you, before… so you’d know…”

 

“I’ve loved you for half my life JC, nothing that you’d said, not even this would have changed that.”

 

“You should have had the choice; you should have known what I was before… so you could have made an… informed decision,” JC’s voice broke and a tears rolled down his cheek.

 

The sound of footsteps approaching drew AJ’s attention away from where Justin was close to being able to touch JC. Damian and Drew, both obviously relieved to have found JC came into view.

 

“Is he human?” Brian’s quiet voice asked. All eyes flew to him with the exception of JC’s.

 

“No,” JC’s soft whisper was cut off by Damian’s emphatic, “Yes.”

 

“We’re not,” JC stated, shaking his head in denial.

 

“Jace,” Damian moved forward, Justin took a step back allowing Damian to take his place. AJ moved to stand beside him. Chris and Brian moving along with them. They had front row seats to the spectacle after all; they weren’t going anywhere until questions were answered to their satisfaction.

 

“We’re not,” JC growled, wiping frantically at his face. “We’re freaks. Abominations. Is it any wonder that we’re not safe, that people keep trying to destroy us?”

 

“JC,” Damian sounded as if he wanted to cry and AJ wondered briefly if JC wasn’t just voicing fears that every Guardian had ever had.

 

“We’re not anything, we can’t defend ourselves, we have no weapons. We have nothing. You can feel her can’t you…” the expression on Damian’s face wavered and pain flitted across it. “She’s in pain and we can’t even do anything to stop it, we’re helpless.”

 

“We’re not helpless,” Damian mumbled.

 

“We’re helpless.” JC’s voice was emphatic. “How can we even call ourselves warriors when we can’t even save one of our own.”

 

“JC.”

 

“We’re not even human.”

 

“Yes we are,” Drew said softly, his voice barely a whisper. He walked forward as he talked, each step drawing him closer and closer to JC, whose wings continued to flicker in and out of phase. “We have families JC, we were born to parents just like everyone else, we have brothers, we have sisters… we have families. You have a family, so does Megan… the family you were born into and the family you were born with. And we’ll all do whatever it takes to protect you, to protect each other and we’ll do whatever we have to in order to save her.”

 

Tears streamed down JC’s face, and AJ could feel his sadness, his despair crushing him suddenly.

 

JC was so close to giving up. And he realized that while JC, so bogged down in his own guilt and pain, wouldn’t listen to either him or Justin he would most certainly listen to Drew and Damian. These were people just like him, feeling the same exact emotions as him.

 

“We’ll save her,” Drew vowed his eyes locked with JC’s unwaveringly. They never looked away from each other, not even when the flash of light blinded everyone else and drew their attention.

 

AJ was among the speechless this time as the newcomer surveyed them, smiling when he completed it. Dismissing them as he waved his hand at the three Guardians.

 

JC’s wings and armor solidified, the only sound the ripping of his shirt as they did so. The same sound mirrored by Drew and Damian.

 

“What the…?” JC looked down at himself in shock and then over at the man standing to one side.

 

This man definitely epitomized exactly what AJ had envisioned an Angel looking like before he’d known about JC.

 

Huge, fluffy white wings. Check.

 

Black armor instead of the white worn by the Guardians. Check.

 

Sword hanging from his waist. Check.

 

He’d never envisioned the dagger but there it was, stuck in the band of his pants. If he bent over at the waist AJ was almost positive he’d unman himself… if he even could.

 

Shoulder length curly black hair swirled around his face; dark black eyes glittered fiercely as he focused all of his attention on the three.

 

“Michael,” JC breathed eyes wide. Beside him AJ could feel Brian draw in a breath and he grabbed his arm, squeezing to silence him.

 

The less attention they drew to themselves the better. Because AJ had a feeling he knew what Michael was… and he wasn’t real anxious to test his theory out.

 

“I hear we’ve had some trouble down here…” Michael grinned thinly, AJ sure as hell didn’t want to be Sam because as angry as Michael was, Sam was not long for this world. “I’m here to help you fix it.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

JC gaped; he didn’t feel bad about it because everyone else was doing the same thing. At least Drew and Damian were. Justin, AJ, Brian and Chris had all been forced to avert their eyes… they probably didn’t even realize yet that they were doing it.

 

They would probably never realize that they were doing it.

 

Their response was a typical one to being exposed to one of the Archangels. They glowed bright and true, the others were just lucky they hadn’t been forced down to their knees in worship. JC had been around when that had happened.

 

“Michael,” he repeated softly, he winced at once because he sounded awed still and he wasn’t. He was angry, furious. And he knew that Michael could sense it, knew he could feel rage pouring off his bones.

 

“Joshua,” JC scowled. Joshua didn’t exist any longer, Joshua had been an in innocent and JC was so far from innocent now…

 

Michael moved forward slowly and JC blinked at him, trying to force himself to continue looking at the Warrior moving towards him. Behind him he could feel the air shift as Brian, then Chris, Justin and the others fell to their knees. He could feel the confusion radiating from AJ and Chris, the reluctant understanding from Brian and Justin.

 

A glance to either side showed Drew and Damian with their heads bowed, heads clenching reflexively at their sides.

 

“You are angry,” Michael observed, his hand was a whisper of a caress against JC’s face and he smiled at the barely restrained growls from AJ and Justin. Michael’s eyes strayed over his shoulder, appraising those kneeled behind him before refocusing.

 

JC bit his tongue to keep from snapping his reply. Of course he was angry, why wouldn’t he be?

 

“Speak your mind,” Michael waved his hand.

 

“Of course I’m angry,” JC hissed, Michael’s eyebrow arched slightly and he felt Drew and Damian stiffen on either side of him. Pissing off an Archangel? Definitely not one of his brightest ideas, but now that he’d been given free reign he let loose. “I’m furious, hasn’t she suffered enough?!”

 

“It’s not up to you to decide who has suffered and who hasn’t.”

 

“Then whose is it? His?!” JC’s hand waved at the sky and Michael’s brow arched just a bit more. “Do you have any idea what he’s doing to her? What he already has done to her? She doesn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve it the first time and she sure as hell didn’t deserve it this time. She’s been nothing but faithful and true, she’s done her job, she’s done what’s she been told and she’s never questioned what were obviously questionable decisions in regards to her safety…” when he stopped to draw a much needed breath Michael waved a hand in his direction and JC’s shoulders slumped, the pain was gone. The pain he shared with Megan was no longer pulsating in his chest and as he drew a shaky breath he realized that beside him Drew and Damian were doing the same.

 

“What did you do?” Drew’s voice was quiet, filled with alarm. “I can’t… she’s not…”

 

“She’s not dead… it’s just you can’t make rational decisions if you’re tied to her. Your bodies are too bound in her pain and misery to make the choices you need to make.”

 

“Choices?” Damian queried suspiciously.  They’d never been given choices before, they’d been told what to do and pretty much that was it.

 

“As I said… I’ve been sent here to help,” with another flick of his hand their wings drew back out of phase, as did their armor until all three stood bare-chested, in their human form before him. “But it seems that given the depth of anger here maybe it would be better to let you handle this yourselves.”

 

“We can’t… remember?” JC was tired, his voice wavering slightly as he pressed a hand to his chest. His heart was still racing and he was a tad disconcerted by not being able to feel Megan at all. “We’re not you Michael; we’re Guardian’s, not Warriors.”

 

“You’re being given the choice… I can handle this of course. Raphael and Gabriel are just waiting for my signal and we’ll do it… but it seems only fair that given she is one of yours, one of your kin, one of your blood to give you the opportunity to do this. To wreak vengeance upon the ones that would destroy you.”

 

“And what would we have to give up in order to do that?” Drew’s voice now held suspicion.

 

“You would of course have to give something up,” Michael murmured a hint of a smile. As if he already knew what each one of them would choose to let go in order to have this moment.

 

“That doesn’t seem fair,” Brian’s voice was quiet and Michael’s eyes flew to him. JC, Damian and Drew spinning to face the four still kneeling behind them. The other three were still kneeling, heads bowed but Brian had managed to rise and his were meeting Michael’s head on.

 

“You have faith,” Michael said softly, a hint of a smile on his face.

 

“Sometimes it’s all we have,” Brian stated. His eyes stayed on Michael’s never wavering.

 

“You don’t think it’s fair that they should need to give something up in order to take a new aspect.”

 

“They’re the wronged parties here; Megan was taken from them, brutally. By force. And if I understand your conversation then it hasn’t been the first time. Why should they need to give up something in order to get her back?”

 

“Because that’s the way things work… in our world,” Michael smiled gently and JC got the distinct impression that while he was amused by Brian’s attempt to talk around the sacrifice they would have to make that Michael spoke as if he was talking to a child. “In order to gain something, to gain the right to have their revenge they’ll need to give something up in place of it.”

 

“Brian its okay,” Drew said softly, a small half smile for his benefit. “They already knew what our decision would be before they sent Michael. It’s why they sent Michael instead of a Messenger.”

 

He turned, Damian and JC turning with him to once more face Michael.

 

“How did Sam find her again? I mean I know we’re not exactly low profile here but… he wasn’t even supposed to be here. Not after what he did in the last reality,” Damian and JC exchanged a nervous look. Because if Sam had been brought over and hidden, then who else had been brought over and sequestered away just waiting for the right moment.

 

“We’ve got people working on it,” Michael smiled enigmatically.

 

“Really?” JC sounded doubtful. “Can we trust them?”

 

“Well they’re yours so I’d say yes.”

 

“Ours?” this time it was Drew that sounded doubtful, even as his eyes were narrowing at the look on Michael’s face. That false innocence. “Who?”

 

JC knew that he was running through the list of Guardian’s, knew he was searching for whoever had been incommunicado for any period of time and JC knew the exact moment when Drew figured it out. Knew it because both he and Damian had to grab his arms to keep him from swinging at Michael… and wouldn’t that have looked good.

 

Angels brawling amongst themselves.

 

“She’s got a family,” Drew’s voice was raised and behind them JC could almost feel the confusion rolling off the others. A glance behind him showed that Justin had finally managed to come to his feet, Chris and AJ were still struggling with it and he wanted to tell them to stay down. That it wasn’t worth if for them to show faith, that if they did they’d be tested on it.

 

“Yes she does,” Michael’s smile never dimmed and they all knew that she had been chosen for exactly that purpose. That quite possibly Drew had been on the fence, that he would have chosen to not get involved, to wait it out. Her involvement forced him to be involved. Forced him to take action.

 

“If anything happens to her…” Drew warned his voice stiff with anger.

 

“She has protection; she has Gabriel looking over her shoulder. Just like Megan has Raphael looking over hers. Gabriel keeps her true agenda hidden while she’s undercover; Raphael keeps Megan from losing hope.”

 

“You’d better hope that you’re right.”

 

That Michael seemed to exception to, he drew to his full height. Wings full and proud behind him, voice haughty as he spoke.

 

“I’m never wrong.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

“He betrayed me,” he whined, fidgeting uncomfortably he waited for the blow to come. For hell to open up and swallow him.

 

He’d been waiting for it since Sam hadn’t appeared with the Guardian in tow at the drop-off site. Knew that it was inevitable once he’d heard that he’d taken off with one Guardian and sent another to the hospital in critical condition.

 

When his inevitable horrific, fiery death continued to not happen he just stared at her in incomprehension.

 

“You should have expected that,” she lounged on the couch, ignoring him as she blew on her nails and then buffed them against the legs of her pants. “Sam hasn’t been trustworthy ever.”

 

“But… but he said…” he sputtered. He was sweating now, it wouldn’t be long and The Man would call. Once he called she would do to him whatever had been chosen as his punishment.

 

“You should relax,” she advised finally looking up from her steady perusal of her cuticles. “It’s really not good for your blood pressure.”

 

“What’s it matter anyway… I’m dead, dead, dead.” His voice rose in agitation and he lowered his head to bang against the desktop. Maybe if he hit it hard enough he’d suffer brain damage and The Man would decide that was punishment enough.

 

Of course maybe this was hell and he’d been in it the whole time, looking like an idiot in front of a beautiful woman was definitely not on his list of top ten things to do.

 

“Not necessarily,” her smile was lazy as she came to her feet, her fingers combed through her hair and he prayed he wasn’t drooling. She had the most beautiful shoulder length, jet black hair that he’d ever seen.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked suspiciously even as he prayed for a second chance. A way to make things right so The Man wouldn’t hurt him wouldn’t kill him. Wouldn’t disembowel him for failing.

 

She cocked her head to one side studying him before she moved to the door.

 

“What are you doing?” he jumped to his feet in alarm. She ignored him of course, most beautiful women did and opened the door.

 

He backed slowly at the sight of the man in the door.

 

Not a man his oh-so-helpful brain supplied. Men didn’t have big white billowing wings that brushed the top of the door.

 

“Oh my…” he dropped off suddenly, because he really couldn’t invoke God’s name when one of God’s servants was standing right in front of him and he was on a direct route to hell.

 

“Gabriel,” she smiled widely.

 

“What the hell?” he swore.

 

“We could send you there,” Gabriel smiled, a thin smile, an evil smile that he really didn’t think was right on the face of an instrument of good. One of His most favored. “If that’s what you really want.”

 

“We… she helped me,” he sputtered backing up until his back hit the window behind his desk.

 

“She did,” Gabriel peered down at the woman standing beside him; he’d never realized before how short she was. She was tiny, petite, delicate… Gabriel touched her hair gently, stroking it and his eyes widened as the straight, jet black hair gave way to wavy, honey blonde hair that fell to just below her shoulders.

 

She preened under his touch, the angular shape of her face rounding as Gabriel continued stroking her hair, her body filling out under his touch.

 

“Jessica would never have voluntarily helped you, unless she could gain something… like information. Like revenge against Sam for hurting one of her own. Isn’t that right Jessie?”

 

“I know where he is, you should tell the others…” Jessica murmured her head tilting a small smile touching her face as she gazed up at Gabriel. “I know where he’s taken her.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin had watched him for a while from the door. JC was in pain; in years past he would have known what to do in order to help him. He would have pushed him back on the bed and made love to him, would have brought Joey in to tickle him until he laughed, had Chris tell dumb jokes, would have had Lance talk to him about business until JC begged him to stop.

 

But he couldn’t do that here because JC wasn’t close to Chris, Joey and Lance here… he was close to Backstreet Boys and Justin still had some prejudices left from before. Even though it appeared that he and AJ might actually like each other and he and Nick might actually be able to stay friends.

 

That was if this all didn’t end and they ended up somewhere else.

 

“What are they going to make you give up?” Justin was quiet at the door, but the sight of JC flinching when he spoke hurt.

 

“I don’t know,” JC whispered, his head lowered until he cradled it in his hands. Justin wondered if he was crying, he’d been so angry. In all the years that Justin had known him he’d never seen JC that angry before.

 

Not even when Lou was trying to screw them. Part of him wondered if their getting out of the lawsuit intact had anything to do with what JC was. Megan had said that Justin was one of JC’s charges, were any of the others his charges as well? And if so which one had made the wish, Justin couldn’t remember doing it… or maybe JC had just done it on his own.

 

“It could be anything…” JC continued softly. “Our voices, a gift, our wings,” his eyes rose briefly to meet Justin’s. “You.”

 

“JC…” Justin moved slowly into the room, JC didn’t look up from the bed as he walked closer, finally kneeling in front of him. When he finally did look up, his bleak eyes meeting Justin’s he wanted to cry. JC looked like he had given up. “Nothing is going to take me away from you,” he promised firmly. “Nothing.”

 

“Where’s AJ?”

 

“Trying to keep Brian from jumping Michael and Gabriel… he’s about a half-second away from running home to get his bible. I’m tempted to do it myself… I mean how many times do you meet real live Archangels?”

 

“Hopefully never. What about Chris?”

 

“He’s trying to convince Drew to let his wings out and fly him around the backyard… Drew said no of course.” Justin smiled, a hand reaching out to lay on JC’s knee. One that thankfully he covered with his own.

 

“So… uh… Jessica huh?”

 

JC laughed, “Who did you think it was?”

 

“I wasn’t sure… Drew was so mad. I thought Jessica, because she’s married to Nick but then I remembered that he’d said something about her being off filming or something.”

 

“She was good… we didn’t even know,” JC smiled wanly. “If we had we probably would have tried to stop her. It’s probably why they approached her separately, secretly.”

 

“She did a good thing. You’re a step ahead.”

 

“Now we just have to wait,” JC rubbed his hand across his face, sighing.

 

“You still can’t feel her?”

 

“Michael’s still blocking us… which is probably a good thing. Keeps us all from going insane. We were all pretty close to doing that last time.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Why?” JC looked up at him a puzzled expression on his face.

 

“I knew you weren’t feeling good, knew that there was something wrong but…” Justin shook his head. “I acted like the prima donna that every one claims that I am. Was thinking only about myself, about how hurt I was… I didn’t even look at you. I didn’t see you.”

 

“You wouldn’t have seen that regardless. I… would never have let you see that.”

 

“I’m still sorry.”

 

“I love you,” JC said it softly, as if he was whispering a confidence, his eyes boring into Justin’s. “I need you to remember that. Regardless of what happens…”

 

“C?”

 

Michael appeared in the door behind them, Justin not looking back. Keeping his eyes firmly locked on JC’s… until JC looked away, looked up at Michael his expression schooled into a blank slate.

 

“It’s time.”

 

******************************************************************************

 

Pain.

 

It seemed like her entire being was focused strictly on the pain ricocheting through her entire being.

 

Not that she could feel much of it anymore, her mind floated in a hazy, unawareness.

 

Her arms and legs were still bound and although she wanted free she was too tired to continue the struggle against her bonds.

 

Blood loss. Her mind whispered and she blinked slowly.

 

She knew that Sam was pissed. She hadn’t screamed once, a groan but no scream. She hadn’t lost control either, not with Raphael supplementing her own with his… her wings had remained out of view.

 

She hadn’t even made a sound when he’d drawn the scalpel in his hand down the middle of her chest.

 

Her sides, her arms felt sticky wet. She knew if she looked she’d see the red of her blood covering her body. So she didn’t look, just stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. Waiting for the inevitable end.

 

I’m sorry Nick… so, so sorry.

 

She could feel Raphael’s worry; he knew that she was close to death. They were human in almost all aspects. They might not have been killed by bullets or knives… but they could bleed to death. He stroked her hair, whispering soothing thoughts.

 

They’re coming; they’re on the way… just a little bit longer.

 

All she could wonder was when Raphael had been demoted… he wasn’t the Angel of Death, he shouldn’t have been the one to usher her to the hereafter.

 

She heard the screams long before she realized that it was not she who had broken and was making the sound. She blinked, her eyes focusing slowly, her face pinched with pain and she felt the whisper of Raphael’s caress over her face. Sam couldn’t see him but Megan could and he leaned over her, his lips mere inches from her ear.

 

They come.

 

His voice was filled with the promise of retribution and vengeance and her eyes moved slowly away from him, away from where Sam was backing away to the door that virtually flew off its hinges.

 

She thought she was hallucinating. She’d not done it this time, Sam’d had her for just a day and she’d not lost herself that far. Last time she had.

 

JC stood there, armor spotted with blood, wings furiously batting as his eyes narrowed on Sam.

 

A hand flew out swiftly, knocking one of the men that had been handing Sam her instruments of torture away. He hit the wall and skittered to a stop in an unconscious heap.

 

Megan watched as he moved into the room slowly, she’d never seen JC look like that. Never seen his eyes blackened with anger and hate. At her head Raphael shimmered and solidified, Sam gasping as he continued backing up. He held a knife before him, a small weapon incapable of doing much damage but he yielded it as if it was a battle axe and could save him.

 

Drew, Damian, countless others fell into the room as JC stalked his prey across it. Jessica stopped at Megan’s side, eyes narrowed, just as black and filled with anger as JC’s. Her hands gently worked at the restraints that bound Megan, Michael appearing at her other side to work on the others.

 

Raphael’s eyes tracked the others, his hand still smoothing over Megan’s hair, as he watched them descend on Sam.

 

JC reached him first, Sam making a lunge that JC easily stilled. His hand closing around Sam’s throat. Shoving him against the wall sharply, Sam’s legs dangled uselessly and his breath came in gasps, eyes wide with fear and loathing.

 

“Did you think we wouldn’t stop you this time?” JC’s voice was a sibilant hiss, filled with hatred. Anger on her behalf. If they didn’t stop…

 

If they did this…

 

There was no going back if they did this.

 

Megan rolled to her left, Michael catching her in his arms as she slid from the table and onto the floor.

 

“JC,” her voice was barely a whisper, Michael supported her as each of her limbs strove to give up on her.

 

JC didn’t acknowledge her, continued squeezing and while she wanted Sam dead she didn’t want it this way. Didn’t want JC to have to give up everything he had, Justin, AJ… freedom, for the chance to do it.

 

“JC,” her voice was stronger that time and JC stilled, the need to destroy warring with the need to protect.

 

His head bowed and he allowed Sam to drop carelessly to the ground.

 

“Knew you couldn’t do it,” Sam sneered, his hand coming up to his throat protectively as he gasped for air. Gabriel was there in an instant, sword in hand even as JC turned away.

 

They didn’t watch as Gabriel made short work of him. Sam’s body had just barely stopped moving on the floor as the group moved as one towards the one fallen.

 

Michael backed away as Jessica took his place at Megan’s side… the others, seventeen with Sarah still out of commission forming a semi-circle around her.

 

JC kneeled touching her face and she tried to force a smile, tried to force one of her muscles to obey her command. Nothing did and she fell forward into his arms.

 

Her blood dotting his armor, his wings as he cradled her close.

 

“You came.”

 

“I’m taking you home now,” he whispered into her ear.

 

She tried to laugh, tried to do something to let him know that she was still there. But with her vision doing that freaky fading thing and the roaring in her ears she was a bit distracted.

 

She never heard the yells of anger as her eyes rolled back in her hand, as her body slumped forward. Never felt the tears fall on her face. Never heard the voice.

 

What is your choice?

 

******************************************************************************

 

Justin hunched over his bowl of cereal, he’d taken a few bites before he couldn’t eat any more and just drew his spoon through the milk and now soggy bits. He knew if he looked up everyone would be in the same exact position.

 

AJ sitting across from him, arms crossed over his chest, cooling cup of coffee, half-eaten toast in front of him, leaning back in his chair as he stared at the ceiling.

 

Nick would be sitting on the floor, back up against the door to the refrigerator. Head buried in his hands.

 

He sighed softly, a sound echoed by the other two males. A ventured look up showed AJ watching him.

 

“Do you think…?” he waved his hand in the air, forgetting the spoon and leaving little droplets of milk on the table top. AJ smirked, a break in his otherwise dour expression.

 

“I think as soon as it’s over JC’ll be right back here, he has to know we’re worried… I don’t think either one of hid it very well,” AJ scowled, a glance over to the left showed Nick still huddled against the refrigerator. Now his hands were rubbing his arms slowly.

 

“Nick?” Justin’s query was quiet, so as to not startle him.

 

“They would have told us if something had gone wrong… right?” Nick’s voice was desperate for reassurance. They all were.

 

“They’ve only been gone a few hours… I…” Justin broke off, a cold chill causing his body to shudder slightly. Across from him AJ did the same, Nick rubbed his arms more frantically. His vision blurred slightly, nausea rising and he stared at his cereal. Surely he hadn’t eaten enough to get sick.

 

A ruffle of air over his head caused his eyes to widen, it had felt like a touch… realization hit them all at the same time and inwardly Justin swore as he tried to grasp onto memories.

 

Onto anything pertaining to JC so he would remember… and it was all too late as his body froze.

 

“What will they remember?” JC’s voice was sad as he ran a hand over Justin’s hair. Moving across the room to do the same to AJ before he turned to face the hazy nothingness behind him.

 

“Nothing about this,” the voice was soft, with a touch of an aristocratic air. “That’s how it should be… You’ll start over again of course. New life, not with either of them. Should be easy to make a choice in that regard.”

 

JC snorted, he’d had Justin, he’d had AJ and for a short, short time he’d had them both.

 

“Is this really necessary?”

 

“Everything comes with a price… you should know this better than anyone. Everyone gives up that which they value most… you value them. Their love.”

 

“What about the others?”

 

“Megan and Sarah were not forced to choose, they fell through no fault of their own. They’ll retain all that they are…”

 

“Their memories,” JC closed his eyes.

 

“I can’t do anything about that. To do her job, to function as a Guardian she needs them. The pain is hers to bear, hers to choose to release. She’ll need support of course…”

 

“She’ll have it,” he murmured firmly. “They’ll both have it.”

 

“Justin will remain your charge, that will also not change. Whether or not you resume relations with  either of them, or both of them is totally up to you now. Your decision, your choice.”

 

“When does it begin? This brave new world?”

 

A gentle touch on his shoulder, a kiss of benediction on his forehead. Understanding.

 

“Say goodbye Joshua.”

 

Justin blinked, touched his forehead gently. Nick was still talking. When had Nick been talking? What the hell?

 

“We’re so not discussing your relationship with AJ again…”

 

“We’re not in a relationship,” AJ muttered, Nick continued as if he hadn’t even spoke.

 

“…I didn’t get it the first time you explained the whole Buddy-Sex thing, I don’t see why you feel the need to keep explaining it to me,” Nick finished as Justin shook his head once, blinking slowly as the world righted itself.

 

“It’s sex Nick… you can’t tell me you don’t have sex,” AJ frowned. He shook his head once, smiling over at Justin as he rolled his shoulders. “And why are you down here yelling at us when your girlfriend is upstairs packing her stuff up?” the question was directed at Nick although his gaze stayed on Justin.

 

Justin wondered if he felt it to. The strangeness in the air, the whole world felt off center.

 

“She’s only going to be gone a few weeks.”

 

“You don’t have a problem with that? Your girlfriend moving out?” Justin glanced over at his best friend. “I thought you were trying to help her with this?”

 

“She’s not moving out… she’s going on a retreat. And I can’t help her if she doesn’t want my help,” the frustration in Nick’s voice was a palatable thing and Justin felt remorse. “She says she needs space so I’m going to give her space.”

 

“How much space are you going to give her? You give her too much she just might not come back,” AJ said.

 

“I trust Megan,” Nick said softly. Pushing himself to his feet he swayed, confusion on his face. At least Justin wasn’t alone in the feeling of strangeness. AJ felt it, now Nick was feeling it. Something was definitely wrong, was definitely off. He couldn’t put his finger on it…

 

“Oh Megan said she found somebody for you,” he said as an afterthought.

 

“Found somebody for me?” the look of perplexity on Justin’s face was mirrored on AJ’s. They had each other… why would they need someone else. There were always threesomes but Justin and AJ were getting boring in their old age and he could have sworn that even if they’d been thinking it that Nick wouldn’t have known it. “Was I looking for someone?”

 

“Stop thinking about sex when I’m in the room with you,” Nick ordered. “Johnny said he wanted you guys to find a fifth…”

 

“Oh… yeah… Megan knows somebody?”

 

“I guess… some friend, he just got back from LA, he’s the one coming to pick her up today so you should have a chance to at least meet him… Meggie says that you know him.”

 

Justin went through the list of people that he knew who could sing and dance and came up blank. They’d been through pretty much everybody that he’d ever even thought of meeting.

 

And it was frustrating because none of their voices meshed with his, Chris, Lance or Joey’s at the same time in the exact way that they wanted.

 

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway put a halt to the conversation and while Nick went to find Megan and say his goodbyes in private, AJ and Justin peered out the window. Side by side they waited for the cars occupants to come into view.

 

Drew wasn’t a surprise. He’d flown in as soon as the news of Megan and Sarah’s abductions had hit the airwaves. By the time he’d arrived they’d been found and were both in the hospital recovering, he hadn’t left though. Besides Nick he’d been a familiar sight at both Megan and Sarah’s bedsides.

 

The man behind him though…

 

“Now that is a pretty, pretty boy,” AJ murmured.

 

And he was, very, very pretty and also very, very familiar looking with the slightly above shoulder-length chestnut hair, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Purely aristocratic features.

 

Although AJ was wrong. That wasn’t a boy that was a man… an adorable, beautiful one that Justin wanted to gobble up. He wanted to keep him tied to his bed… wanted to do all sorts of unspeakable things to him to make him scream and moan.

 

He hadn’t felt this much desire for someone since AJ had seduced him.

 

“Recognize him?” AJ’s voice was quiet.

 

“No…” Justin’s nose wrinkled… because he looked familiar, but he couldn’t place him. Which was frustrating to say the least.

 

The doorbell ran, then a knock and before either Justin or AJ could move Megan was flying down the stairs, flinging the door open and flying into the open arms of the man that Justin couldn’t place.

 

He laughed and swung her around in a circle, Drew standing off to one side grinning. When he finally set her on her feet again she was laughing, a huge smile; one that no one had seen in over two weeks graced her face. The man took his sunglasses off, holding them in his hand as he touched Megan’s cheek with the other.

 

Well damn… Justin chanced a glance over at AJ and saw the same expression. They’d both thought that the competition would come from the other. Not from Megan who was already totally in love and tied to Nick in ways they didn’t want to understand.

 

Nick who was standing in the middle of the staircase with an interesting expression on his face. Justin couldn’t decide if Nick was happy that Megan was smiling, or upset that he hadn’t been the one to put the smile there.

 

When he looked back he was talking quietly to Megan, his voice a quiet hum and Megan was nodding every once in a while. When she noticed Justin and AJ standing in the doorway she smiled at them.

 

A curious smile that normally indicated that Megan knew something that they didn’t. He hated that particular look on her face, she could either choose to taunt them with her hidden knowledge or share it. Normally she taunted them, only giving up when Nick forced her to. Or Justin had a tantrum.

 

Justin hadn’t had a tantrum in months… this could take a while.

 

She grabbed her companions hand and turned him to face them. For a moment Justin was startled by the familiar bright, blue of his eyes.

 

“I found you someone,” Megan was grinning but Justin wasn’t paying her any attention. Not when the man of his dreams (if he believed in that stuff) was staring at him, a smile playing around the edge of his mouth as his eyes flickered between Justin and AJ.

 

Justin wondered how AJ would feel about sharing him between them… that way there would be no competition. Although the competition might be good… Justin and AJ were too aware of each others weak spots; they knew exactly what buttons to push when to get what they wanted or what they didn’t want the other to have.

 

AJ would play dirty, so would Justin.

 

The man held out his hand and Justin pondered how soon was too soon to get him in bed. Did they really have to play by dating rules? He knew him shouldn’t that count for something?

 

“Hi,” he smiled and Justin was forced to smile back it was so friendly, and earnest and dear god he wanted to own that mouth.

 

“Hi,” Justin didn’t need to even look to the side to see the expression on AJ’s face, he could feel the bemusement… and the hunger rolling off him in waves.

 

And then there was a fact that he so knew this guy from somewhere.

 

“You must be Justin and AJ,” another smile. “Megan’s told me a lot about you,” Justin fought the urge to scowl at Megan because the emphasis on lot meant that she had told this man what she told everyone about the relationship between Justin and AJ. And how the hell were they supposed to get him in bed if he thought that Justin and AJ were together.

 

“Don’t believe a word she says,” Justin muttered, he smirked and AJ elbowed him.

 

Justin didn’t believe in love at first sight, didn’t believe in any of that shit. Lust maybe, never love. But Justin knew the minute he took his hand, the tiny, almost imperceptible shock of his fingers closing over Justin’s, that life as he knew it was about to irrevocably change.

 

He stared almost dumbstruck into the fathomless blue eyes, the smile on his face crinkling them in the corners and just like that Justin was struck with the image of the MMC backlot. Of the floppy haired boy that used to run with Tony and Dale. And suddenly he knew who this was… although the name continued to evade him.

 

“I’m JC.”